We're not complaining about NHL Draft

We're not complaining about NHL Draft

Bill Simmons over at ESPN.com did a running diary on the NHL Draft on Friday night. I realize most of you didn't know we had the draft in town this week (or even what the NHL Draft is ... or what the NHL is) but it was sort of a big deal in parts of Canada.

One of the highlights was a bartender at Brothers wearing some kind of Donruss hockey jersey. It led McCampus and I to start talking about baseball cards. My first discussion on the topic since 1992. We got to talk about the 1987 Topps cards, the best looking baseball cards ever.



Bigger highlight was seeing Halle the Bartender. Sorry, Hassey.



I have a couple complaints about a few of Simmons' entries. As always, he's funny and makes you laugh, but I wanted to say a couple things about this past weekend.

His entries are in italics. Mine are not.

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4:46: Just learned that the draft is taking place in Columbus, Ohio (home of the Blue Jackets). This would have been my 52nd guess, just ahead of Nashville and right behind Anchorage.

Fair. But the draft in town did set the stage for a glorious weekend. There were some women of the night … the pay-per-view variety … at the same bars we were. That’s the surgically enhanced tits.

I think I even saw that chick in the orange tight dress at Johnny Drama’s party last night on Entourage. You know the one … the one leaving the Port-a-John at the first clip of Vince’s welcome home bash.

There was lots of money in the Arena District. Lots of money + athletes = skanks. Those are the groupies of the truest variety. I don’t think they were sticking around to bang the drums, per se, with the cover band playing at The Patio.

I’m not sure how they pick the host city of the NHL draft (cheese curd eating contest?), but I am glad it was in Columbus. I mean. It’s true. Those guys really do have mullets. They really are Canadian. They really are 15-20 years behind us in terms of style.

I wish they would have played the song on Thursday or Friday night when the draft was in full swing. They played it on Sunday though. Damn the man.

A line in Asia’s “Heat of the Moment” summed up the Canadian effect on the Arena District:

And now you find yourself in ’82
The disco hotspots hold no charm for you

It was sort of tough to download that song from Limewire. There's a lot of porn stars named Asia, or maybe just one. And "Heat of the Moment" ... well.

5:06: Enjoyably mundane interview with Columbus star Rick Nash, who has a scruffy beard and an "I hope they can't tell I'm hungover" vibe going. He's about three years away from signing with the Kings and dating one of the Duff sisters. Let's keep an eye on him.

You’ve got to hand it to Bill Simmons there. We definitely did see the Nasher over at The Patio on Thursday night. Also saw Dallas Cowboy and former Buckeye linebacker Bobby Carpenter. Don’t know if Nash was hung over the following day, but it’s not totally out of the question. Then again, whenever there’s a big event in town, isn’t that expected? Host city’s biggest star not named an Ohio State athlete (or former coach or former player or former assistant coach or former women’s basketball player) out on the town the night prior to the party? So yeah, taking away those cooooo-dooooooooze from Bill Simmons and instead calling BS.

(Anyway, I think it’s more newsworthy when I don’t see Bobby Carpenter while I’m drinking on Park Street (or the vicinity).)

Makes me really wish I had a blog back in the day. I remember (mind like an elephant) a night in 2002 when mistertrendy and I (heterosexual) were watching Sarah Hughes win the gold medal in figure skating heterosexual at the Salt Lake City Olympics. We were at Alcatraz (bar) when we saw Maurice Clarett (11 months before scoring two touchdowns in the national title game) a few seats down from us downing shots of Crown Royal.

Not sure what I would have blogged about the following day – a bar showing figure skating or freshman phenom Maurice Clarett. But not of him doing shots. This was a few months after Stevie Bellisari's DUI at Scott McMullen's birthday bash down at the Spot Bar. We saw 17-year-old Lydell Ross boozing with the pair ... before McMullen passed out and Stevie B. drove home.

Also not sure what kind of dude Nash is. Don’t hear stories about him. Really, you don’t hear them about any of the Blue Jackets. (Sometimes you hear about them in the newspaper. Like, “they lost last night 4-3.”)

Have heard that Sergei Fedorov likes to entertain dates with old Duran Duran DVDs. Lady friend who told me about this is not a known bull-shitter (or bitch) either.

I can see this. I guess (have heard) when he came to the United States, the Scorpions were still very big in Russia. Fedorov didn’t know much English and pretty much all of it came from the words in heavy metal songs. So when he was drafted by Detroit, he said he was “very happy. … It rocks me like a hurricane.”


5:03: On the clock at No. 7, the hometown Blue Jackets! This might the lowest moment of my life: I'm actually excited to see who they take here. As the crowd chants "Let's go Jack-ets (clap clap clap-clap-clap)," their GM tells them in a monotone voice, "Thank you ... what a fantastic day in Columbus." It really ranks right up there. They take European winger Jakub Voracek, who hopefully won't get corrupted by the Columbus nightlife. Keep your fingers crossed for him.

I think everyone likes to stick up for their hometown. I find it truest with my hometown of Youngstown, Ohio. I’m allowed to make fun of it. People I know from the Yo are, as well. If you’re not, don’t. Not cool.

I’d have to say Columbus is my adapted hometown. I’d consider myself a Columbus native. I’m not, but who cares? I tell chicks I’m 22 all the time and they don’t seem to mind.

What is their not to like about the nightlife in Columbus? If you’re like me (and you should be), you’re an almost-exclusively single twenty-something with a strong affinity toward gorgeous younger girls.

So, we’ve got one of the nation’s largest institutes of higher learning and Ohio’s best public school (sorry Miami, Ohio). We’ve got hot rich girls from surrounding suburbs. We’ve got a thriving fake ID industry.

If you hate drunk, hot college-aged girls, the Columbus nightlife scene is not for you. It’s not. I apologize on behalf of the chicks.



If you’re artsy, there’s plenty of places in the Short North, Victorian Village, campus or German Village. If you’re gay, there’s everywhere. If you’re a scrub loser, there’s the suburbs.

5:32: Things you won't see today: A wide shot of 3,000 people filling a 16,000-seat arena in Columbus for the 2007 draft. This thing is being filmed tighter than a Michael Bay movie.

From what I’ve heard, the place was packed. Not sure if that’s good or bad. Do we really want credit for that? Is having enough people willing to go to the NHL Draft some reason for civic pride? Will we start to go all Buffalo and start taking pride in the President’s Cup trophy and the like?

I won’t go nerd police and point out that it’s more like an 18,000-seat arena.

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We had the NHL Draft in town this week. We saw some minor celebs. Had a few more hot chicks than normal and a couple bars charged a cover.

It was sort of fun.

- Art McGregor