I usually like to use a photo at the top of a blog post, but given the subject matter, I'm not even going to attempt to google one for this post. The topic is porn. You know, the number 1 reason the Internet exists? As McGinley so plainly told the Mayor on Saturday, "You look at it online. I look at it online. Everyone looks at porn online."

And there really is no shortage of porn available online, for anything you're into. Guy and a girl? Guy and two girls? Two guys and a girl in a pizza place? Two white girls, a black guy, and another guy watching? Girl on girl? Guy on guy? MILF? Teen? BJ? HJ? FJ? Anal? Blond? Black on blond? It's all out there, and so much more.

And I've only ever perused the free stuff. It's beyond my ability to fathom just what you can get if you're willing to have a credit card charged every month for the next three years or whatever ridiculous terms they lock you into and then you're too embarrassed to call your bank and fight the charges.

I always appreciate the sites that categorize everything for you, cause you never, at least I never, want to see a fat chick in porn, and I can just skip right over the BBW stuff. Searchable sites are awesome, too, because sometimes there's a plot or star that you just want to see that day.

Anyway, this is all a roundabout way of getting to my point, which refers back to Tori Black, number 7 on AMG's chick list in the post beneath this one. She has a star tattoo on her pubic bone/hip region. This is a major turnoff for me, and if anyone reading this is thinking about going into porn, I highly recommend that you avoid getting any tattoos or markings.

I know what you're asking yourself, why is that so important? Well, you see, watching porn is on some level about the fantasy for the viewer. He's putting himself in the shoes of the guy who comes home only to find that the babysitter has discovered his collection of dirty movies and is enjoying them. He's remembering that time he went over to his buddies house, but his buddy wasn't home, and his buddy's mom invited him in for iced tea and imagining things escalating from there. He's the one who comes out of the shower in his hotel room to find two busty Latina housemaids cleaning his room, and his towel slips off, and they both fall to their knees.

And in his fantasy, they never have a giant star tattoo next to their vajay-jay! How am I supposed to agree-to-believe the plot of a movie where the innocent college girl next door is looking to learn some moves from a more experienced man before her big date when the supposedly innocent girl has that tattoo? It just blows the whole mood, quite frankly.

That's not to say that Tori Black doesn't belong on AMG's list, and I'm sure some guys are reading this and thinking about that chick they used to live with who had tattoos all over and thinking, "what the hell is he talking about," but I think it really limits the roles she can get.

So consider that a lesson, prospective porn stars: If the role calls for skin ink, you can always go the henna route. But keep your options, and everything else for that matter, open!

-The Godfather