The Gay McGinley's (aka the Evil One) greatest hits from last night:

Side One
1. What it means to be a Republican, even though I'm a flaming liberal

2. The Private Stash song

3. Listen to me talk more!

4. The difference between me and McGinley

5. Answering other people's questions

6. Your vacation and how mine was better

7. Work

Side Two
1. Yep, I'm still talkin'

2. The Red Sox, New England, and another boring fucking story that no one cares about

3. Why I don't like Portagees

4. Everything I know about hotels

5. Yelling contest

6. What did you say? I can say it louder

7. My thoughts on your love life

8. Do you like me as much as I like me?

Order now and recieve the special bonus track - Hey, where's everyone going?

Jesus fucking Christ

Glad to see my Rich Eisen is so horny post beat Awful Announcing and Deadspin to the punch.

German Village Media. Where late-breaking news happens.

I also was up that late so that helps too. Had an enjoyable night at The Tuna. What. No Logsdon?! Weird, I know. There was a midget on stage at all times next to the DJ.

I got hit on twice. Equal opportunity lender. One time it was by a dude. We also sat next to a girl I dubbed the cutest chick I've ever seen. I've now said that 47 times this year. She did not hit on me or even look my way.

The other time was by this chick named Sam. Two dude names on the evening. It was at 1:47 a.m. (two minutes after my 1:45 a.m. start time at campus bars). She was a 2006 graduate of Bishop Watterson High School. Go Eagles.

How about that spread?

We chatted 'til about 2:10 a.m. and it was full-out BLINDERS until the break of dawn or 2:09 a.m. Whatever happens first.

Came home and glad to see my bedroom door was still in tact. When The Godfather knocked on it four hours earlier, I was surprised people seven counties over couldn't hear it. Two swift blows with the meaty paws. After hearing my buddies would be over at 10:30 p.m., I was shocked to see they got there at 10:22 p.m.

Pretty productive morning. Had to hit the bank, pick up some stuff on campus, pay the rent (oops) and mail about six bills (writing checks is hard business!) Bout to hit up some lunch and hopefully see Bruno.

That's such a Samantha thing to say.

For those of you who haven't had the pleasure experience of meeting Art McGregor's friends Captain Kirk (aka Sir Talks-a-Lot) and Spock (the drunkest guy who ever lived), they are pictured above.

95% of the time, AMG and I get along swimmingly as roommates. Our shared penchant for Law and Order SVU and CI reruns, sports and Sunday feasts generally leads to good times being had by all.

But I must've done something to anger AMG yesterday, because he carpet bombed me with the Dynamic Duo with no warning and with no regard for human life.

Quick back story: AMG inexplicably loves hanging out with the Kirks. And every time they go out, one or more Kirks comes to the City Park HQ and talks really loudly before they get a cab to head out. In the past, AMG would make me aware of the imminent arrival so that I could mentally prepare for the onslaught of loudly stated, often misguided opinions on all things sporting.

But last night, while AMG was upstairs and I was dozing off to an episode of CI, a knock came at the door. "Oh no," was my only thought. And with that they invaded, swarmed, shouted their way into the City Park HQ. What kind of God let's that happen? No warning! Just Kirks at the door.

So, AMG, for whatever I did to deserve that seemingly unprovoked RAK (random act of Kirking), I am sorry. Can we please initiate a warning system that alerts me to oncoming occurrences of Kirk so that I can make necessary preparations? Perhaps an emergency text message ala: "This is to inform you that a Kirk has been spotted in your neighborhood. It is likely that the Kirk will be arriving at the City Park HQ within the next ten minutes. -30-"

-The Godfather

Victor Martinez got an RBI today!

I hate Eric Wedge. This is a well-known fact.

Hopefully, he's not coming back in 2010. I can't imagine he does.

That said ... I want one of these three guys to manage:

1. John Farrell (Boston pitching coach and long-time Tribe guy)

2. Rick Manning (Indians broadcaster and tremendous baseball mind)

3. Rudy Jaramillo (Rangers hitting coach)

- Art McGregor

Hugh Janus.

Another post from your least favorite blogger ...

I have the song list from the Tuna. I will be there every Wednesday. AMG is rocking out to "Patience" next week.

I am saddened that our group of "me firsts" has never been there before. This had nothing to do with campus chicks. It's just an awesome time.

Um. The Ugly Tuna's live karaokee on a Wednesday night is the PS - best thing ever. Sadly, because I suggested it, none of my friends ever will go.

Twitter is beyond awesome.