"If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?" - Snow Patrol, Chasing Cars
Newsflash, Snow Patrol, I'm going to have to pass on your offer. Time to get fuuuuuuucked up.
I'm off to The Slo-Pitch and then Jimmy Smurf's for the Triple M NYE New Year's Eve Celebration in conjuncture with German Village Media.
Love you all.
- Art McGregor
Sunday, December 31, 2006
It's nearing 3am as I type this and by the time I finish fewer than 21 hours will remain in 2006.
I haven't blogged in a while, but I just got home from the Slo-Pitch and I'm really not that tired, so what the heck, right?
The Godfather, the Truth, McGinley and a few others close to GVM today had the pleasure of witnessing the marriage of our friend Sarge to (real creative nickname coming!) Mrs. Sarge earlier today. (Nobody try to put that asunder, whatever the hell asunder means.) And though the minister presiding over the ceremony rambled into parts unknown, including what seemed to be a shoutout to Saddam at the wedding of a guy who helped bring that awful bastard to justice, it was nice. (He also gave a toast about family and friends being the most important thing in life and how it all comes down to a simple four letter word: L-O-V. That's how he spelled a simple four letter word. L-O-V. I didn't make that up.)
Sure the Godfather's personal view on marriage at this point in his life is: WIFE is an acronym for Waste It For Ever. But seeing two people who are into eachother get lots of gifts and cash stuffed envelopes may change his mind.
Column Pause #1: The New Year's Eve rule applies to wedding receptions. People who do not go out and imbibe intoxicants to the point of drunkness five nights a week like we do attempt to keep up with us. The results aren't good.
Following the wedding we went to a party at a sweet house in the Hills before hitting the Dresden.
Oops. That's a scene from Swingers. What I meant to say is we went to a party at a kick-ass house in Liberty TWP. (Columbus' answer to the Hollywood Hills. Huge houses so far away from the action on the Strip that we never go up there) before hitting the Slo-Pitch.
The Godfather and traveling party were warmly received by some regulars, including Art McGregor, the Trendy's, the Mayor, Hurricane Ifene and some missestrendy friends that the Godfather mafficked with on Opening Day of the Tribe's 2006 campaign (before it all went so wrong).
Column Pause #2: The nice guy from Opening Day told the Godfather that he had purchased a throwback Indians jacket and that the Godfather's throwback jacket from Opening Day had been his inspiration. I didn't have the heart, or the desire to out myself as not-so-fashionable, to tell him that mine wasn't a throwback, but rather a jacket I still have from ten years ago.
It was a real pleasure to hang out with mistertrendy two night's in a row, going on a sure three tomorrow night. He's a button pusher to be sure, but ask him about his buddy Seth sometime. You'll laugh for days.
Column Pause #3: mistertrendy introduced us to a friend of his last night. The nickname for the friend of mistertrendy? misterfriendy, of course.
Throughout the night, from the wedding to the Hills to the Slo-pitch, lots of people had very kind things to say to the Godfather. I mean lots of people, to the point I wondered if someone was paying them. People I've known for years, the couple from Memphis I'd just met, the father of the bride, semi-regulars at the Slo-Pitch, the couple from random Columbus suburb Upper Dubwestington View, the cast and crew of the Slo-Pitch, Hurricane, etc. And they all seemed really sincere. That was nice.
Here's my agenda for tomorrow:
Meet with the Mayor to discuss final preparations
Watch football
Dinner with my buddy Art
The New Year's Eve party to which all readers are invited at Jimmy Smurf's on South High St.
Make resolutions
Shout Happy New Year and hug people
Break resolutions
Much love to you, 2006. Many hopes for you, 2007.
-The Godfather
I haven't blogged in a while, but I just got home from the Slo-Pitch and I'm really not that tired, so what the heck, right?
The Godfather, the Truth, McGinley and a few others close to GVM today had the pleasure of witnessing the marriage of our friend Sarge to (real creative nickname coming!) Mrs. Sarge earlier today. (Nobody try to put that asunder, whatever the hell asunder means.) And though the minister presiding over the ceremony rambled into parts unknown, including what seemed to be a shoutout to Saddam at the wedding of a guy who helped bring that awful bastard to justice, it was nice. (He also gave a toast about family and friends being the most important thing in life and how it all comes down to a simple four letter word: L-O-V. That's how he spelled a simple four letter word. L-O-V. I didn't make that up.)
Sure the Godfather's personal view on marriage at this point in his life is: WIFE is an acronym for Waste It For Ever. But seeing two people who are into eachother get lots of gifts and cash stuffed envelopes may change his mind.
Column Pause #1: The New Year's Eve rule applies to wedding receptions. People who do not go out and imbibe intoxicants to the point of drunkness five nights a week like we do attempt to keep up with us. The results aren't good.
Following the wedding we went to a party at a sweet house in the Hills before hitting the Dresden.
Oops. That's a scene from Swingers. What I meant to say is we went to a party at a kick-ass house in Liberty TWP. (Columbus' answer to the Hollywood Hills. Huge houses so far away from the action on the Strip that we never go up there) before hitting the Slo-Pitch.
The Godfather and traveling party were warmly received by some regulars, including Art McGregor, the Trendy's, the Mayor, Hurricane Ifene and some missestrendy friends that the Godfather mafficked with on Opening Day of the Tribe's 2006 campaign (before it all went so wrong).
Column Pause #2: The nice guy from Opening Day told the Godfather that he had purchased a throwback Indians jacket and that the Godfather's throwback jacket from Opening Day had been his inspiration. I didn't have the heart, or the desire to out myself as not-so-fashionable, to tell him that mine wasn't a throwback, but rather a jacket I still have from ten years ago.
It was a real pleasure to hang out with mistertrendy two night's in a row, going on a sure three tomorrow night. He's a button pusher to be sure, but ask him about his buddy Seth sometime. You'll laugh for days.
Column Pause #3: mistertrendy introduced us to a friend of his last night. The nickname for the friend of mistertrendy? misterfriendy, of course.
Throughout the night, from the wedding to the Hills to the Slo-pitch, lots of people had very kind things to say to the Godfather. I mean lots of people, to the point I wondered if someone was paying them. People I've known for years, the couple from Memphis I'd just met, the father of the bride, semi-regulars at the Slo-Pitch, the couple from random Columbus suburb Upper Dubwestington View, the cast and crew of the Slo-Pitch, Hurricane, etc. And they all seemed really sincere. That was nice.
Here's my agenda for tomorrow:
Meet with the Mayor to discuss final preparations
Watch football
Dinner with my buddy Art
The New Year's Eve party to which all readers are invited at Jimmy Smurf's on South High St.
Make resolutions
Shout Happy New Year and hug people
Break resolutions
Much love to you, 2006. Many hopes for you, 2007.
-The Godfather
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Since mistertrendy is dating my sister and TD Hoodie is engaged, I'm going to ...
I would like to ask out The Godfather, officially, for a little New Year's Eve dinner date tomorrow before heading over to Jimmy Smurf's for our NYE celebration. As you know, that party starts at 8 p.m. or ... well, it starts when I get there.
The Godfather is the only available option at this late point in the game and I know a great little spot to enjoy one final meal together before I move on.
- Art McGregor
I would like to ask out The Godfather, officially, for a little New Year's Eve dinner date tomorrow before heading over to Jimmy Smurf's for our NYE celebration. As you know, that party starts at 8 p.m. or ... well, it starts when I get there.
The Godfather is the only available option at this late point in the game and I know a great little spot to enjoy one final meal together before I move on.
- Art McGregor
As some of you probably know, every year I release my song of the year. This year the competition was indeed difficult. But I have finally selected my song of the year.
Beginning with my first year at Ohio State (1997), I have picked a song that most reminds me of myself and my surroundings for that year.
This year's winner is "The Wanderer" by Dion & The Belmonts. Runner-up is "The Way You Make Me Feel" by Michael Jackson.
Past winners:
2006- "The Wanderer" by Dion & The Belmonts
2005 - "Dakota" by Stereophonics
2004 - "Clarity" by John Mayer
2003 - "Southern Cross" by Crosby, Stills and Nash
2002 - (only tie) "Obstacle No. 1" by Interpol; "Ashes of American Flags" by Wilco
2001 - "A Movie Script Ending" by Death Cab for Cutie
2000 - "Pardon Me" by Incubus
1999 - "Battleflag" by Lo Fidelity Allstars
1998 - "Closing Time" by Semisonic
1997 - "Roses From My Friends" by Ben Harper
- Art McGregor
Friday, December 29, 2006
Russel Gibb here. I'm a new contributor to the blog. I'd like to ask you a few questions. First, have you noticed the differences in McGinley lately? If you haven't, obviously he's quite skinnier than the version that others apparantly preferred many months ago.
But there's more. A lot more. First, he's a good two inches taller than the guy I remember, and the balness hasn't been able to hide the fact that he's parting his hair a different way these days. Tell me you haven't noticed that.
Interestingly, I've been watching this McGinley of late, and saw today that he was dropped off at Germain to pick up his car. What exactly happened the night of November 15? The last anyone saw of him that night was Sis, and she got a real fucked up text message.
Then records found at the Bexley police department indicate that at some point a car accident ensued. There are many, many unanswered questions about what really happened that evening. Said records appear to be doctored or something - none of the times match up or make any sense. I, for one, think it was a tragic end to the McGinley we knew, and this guy named Bill Shears has been tapped to replace him.
Godfather has already said he's acting differently, and he's completely anti-McGinley on his views on Iraq, GWB, etc. Insane? I don't think so. I'm not sure this is really McGinley. Exercise? Not eating pizza? Peanuts? Where the fuck was he during Christmas? Hmmmmmmmm......
Anyway, since you all are the ones who know him best, try to see if you can help unravel this mystery. Look for clues. They seem to be everywhere.
I ONE X HE DIE.
But there's more. A lot more. First, he's a good two inches taller than the guy I remember, and the balness hasn't been able to hide the fact that he's parting his hair a different way these days. Tell me you haven't noticed that.
Interestingly, I've been watching this McGinley of late, and saw today that he was dropped off at Germain to pick up his car. What exactly happened the night of November 15? The last anyone saw of him that night was Sis, and she got a real fucked up text message.
Then records found at the Bexley police department indicate that at some point a car accident ensued. There are many, many unanswered questions about what really happened that evening. Said records appear to be doctored or something - none of the times match up or make any sense. I, for one, think it was a tragic end to the McGinley we knew, and this guy named Bill Shears has been tapped to replace him.
Godfather has already said he's acting differently, and he's completely anti-McGinley on his views on Iraq, GWB, etc. Insane? I don't think so. I'm not sure this is really McGinley. Exercise? Not eating pizza? Peanuts? Where the fuck was he during Christmas? Hmmmmmmmm......
Anyway, since you all are the ones who know him best, try to see if you can help unravel this mystery. Look for clues. They seem to be everywhere.
I ONE X HE DIE.
Also, in case you were wondering, Art McGregor and mistertrendy beat everyone and won the first ever Trivial Pursuit GVM title last night.
mistertrendy and Art McGregor? Dynasty.
McGregor had called his shot earlier in the week. The kid has balls. http://germanvillagemedia.blogspot.com/2006/12/night-at-bar-success.html
- Staff reports
mistertrendy and Art McGregor? Dynasty.
McGregor had called his shot earlier in the week. The kid has balls. http://germanvillagemedia.blogspot.com/2006/12/night-at-bar-success.html
- Staff reports
A tribute to one of my favorite people.
Sunday "Sis" McPunter correctly pointed out today that I "blogged mean" about her recently without proper cause. Truth is, there is no proper cause for that behavior, and I apologize.
I also would like to now add her to a very select list of people (Mayor, McGreggggggor, now she) that I've posted a top 10 favorite things about. Sorry about the misunderstanding, you know I love you.
Top 10 reasons we love Sunday "Sis" McPunter
10. Always happy to see her. Stop. Wait. Can you think of a time when running into, hanging out with, talking to, kicking footballs, or doing something with Sis didn't make the experience more enjoyable? I can't. That's high praise, I'd say. She's usually in a good mood, and even if it's something rotten and work related (or incredibly swealtering hot, and I'm sweating through my p Deborah Ryce t-shirt) she's fun to be around. The general disposition seems to always skew positive, and when someone like I (who tends to - and by tends I mean fucking always - skews negative) am around her, my attitude changes for the better. And in the rare instance when she's sad or upset, I can't stand it. I recently learned of someone acting inappropriately toward her and threatened to kill them for it. And I meant it. I need you in your happy place.
9. Chick can rock a headband like nobody's business. The one she had onlast night looked great. And not everyone can pull that off, so nice work. The Mayor was, in fact, commenting today on how good it looked, and trust me, when we were swing-dancing at the Gracie last night and it fell off . . . the world stopped for a stunned second while it was recovered, returned to said position, and the smile re-emerged, and the Shag continued in earnest. She always looks great. You know it, and so does she.
8. Which leads me to my next point about her, which is fairly obvious, I think. Sis is a certified, genuine, card-carrying cutie. I remember lunch in the Short North a few months ago when we were discussing relationships and she asked me what the single most important consideration for being attracted to a girl is. I answered "fun". She disagreed and said "I think it's 'cute'." Well, sweetie, you've got the market cornered on that one, we'd all agree. And you work at it. I see you at the Cavebear, unlike some others who can't seem to find their way there anymore . . .ahem, Truth . . .ahem. And you put legitimate thought into the outfits, etc. I still say "fun" but anyone who's looking for what you're looking for just found it.
7. After hours specialist. Next time you're stone-cold rocking the after hours, look up. I guarantee you Sis will be there, part of the maffick. . .especially if it's at her house. I don't really know how she does it. It's not like she goes all moderation-style throughout the evening - I've seen her retarded drunk a few, um . . .thousand times. But she's right there, with all the hefty booze-addled dudes. And Sis. Somehow. Laughing, rocking - and kicking all of our pansy asses.
6. Scary smart. I'm have a theory to posit. People who try to act really smart (McGinley) aren't as smart as they think. People who don't, are smarter than you might believe. No one personifies this better than Sis. McGinley actually is really smart. Really, really fucking smart - and he knows. He's a keen observer of the human condition, and don't let the not-such-a-good Trivial Pursuit partner get you (hey, you knew Daisies and I didn't). There's a hell of a lot going on up there, and she knows how to get shit done. Pretty successful for a kid her age, too. You can't fool me, kido - I pick up on the perfect grammar, general knowledge, wisdom that belies your years, etc. The road ahead of you is going to be smooth. That's one member of the flock this Shepherd doesn't waste time worrying about.
5. Generous. This is the time I should also throw in a shout to one of my other faves. Gahannastan. Are there two more generous girls that we know? They routinely open there home to strangers, whether it be for a party or a wayward who needs a place to stay for the day, week, whatever. That's really nice, and the kind of thing that people never forget. Yet they do it without batting an eyelash, and make those folks feel comfortable and right at home. Good people these Gahannians.
4. Back to fun. My point earlier was about me picking "fun" as the number one option. These two are really fucking fun. I was adamantly opposed to the flip-cup tourney prior to it, thinking it contrived, and puerile, but remember vividly when I was told "Your PLAYING!" at Starbucks by Sis herself. Well, fortunately contrived and juvenile are the things that I hate to admit I am usually looking for and that party was straight fun. I had a great time, and it turned out to be the first time I ever hung out with Sleepy that night. Wait, Sleepy? Did I see you last night? I think I remember rolling extended hug on your coifed ass at about 1a.
3. Let's face it folks, she has hot friends. A veritable fucking gaggle of them. I cannot think of a one that isn't. This girl does not roll with the Ericas of the world. Quite the opposite. They range from cute, to hot, to McGregor has their phone numbers. Another great reason to not have all of her friends think you're an over-the-hill douchebag. They're real, real hot.
2. Forgiving. Both of 'em. And let's face it, that's a real plus in my column, considering I've acted like a complete idiot around them a few, uh . . . thousand times in the past year or so. How many times have I apologized? (The answer is a lot). And each time I get the "no worries" response. Even when I was blogging mean just a few days ago. That takes a big person. I'm a big fan. Thank you.
1. Overall. I think Sis and G win the "Best Overall" of 2006 category. They're nice, smart, fun, sweet people, who give their time and their home to us all. That's pretty rock-tacular. I'm happy that we've gotten to know each other better over the past year. One of the things that has made 2006 a touch more enjoyable for me. And it wasn't a real good one otherwise. But I have 2 cool friends and I'm happy for it. I think we all are. Here's to all the best for you in 2007.
Sunday "Sis" McPunter correctly pointed out today that I "blogged mean" about her recently without proper cause. Truth is, there is no proper cause for that behavior, and I apologize.
I also would like to now add her to a very select list of people (Mayor, McGreggggggor, now she) that I've posted a top 10 favorite things about. Sorry about the misunderstanding, you know I love you.
Top 10 reasons we love Sunday "Sis" McPunter
10. Always happy to see her. Stop. Wait. Can you think of a time when running into, hanging out with, talking to, kicking footballs, or doing something with Sis didn't make the experience more enjoyable? I can't. That's high praise, I'd say. She's usually in a good mood, and even if it's something rotten and work related (or incredibly swealtering hot, and I'm sweating through my p Deborah Ryce t-shirt) she's fun to be around. The general disposition seems to always skew positive, and when someone like I (who tends to - and by tends I mean fucking always - skews negative) am around her, my attitude changes for the better. And in the rare instance when she's sad or upset, I can't stand it. I recently learned of someone acting inappropriately toward her and threatened to kill them for it. And I meant it. I need you in your happy place.
9. Chick can rock a headband like nobody's business. The one she had onlast night looked great. And not everyone can pull that off, so nice work. The Mayor was, in fact, commenting today on how good it looked, and trust me, when we were swing-dancing at the Gracie last night and it fell off . . . the world stopped for a stunned second while it was recovered, returned to said position, and the smile re-emerged, and the Shag continued in earnest. She always looks great. You know it, and so does she.
8. Which leads me to my next point about her, which is fairly obvious, I think. Sis is a certified, genuine, card-carrying cutie. I remember lunch in the Short North a few months ago when we were discussing relationships and she asked me what the single most important consideration for being attracted to a girl is. I answered "fun". She disagreed and said "I think it's 'cute'." Well, sweetie, you've got the market cornered on that one, we'd all agree. And you work at it. I see you at the Cavebear, unlike some others who can't seem to find their way there anymore . . .ahem, Truth . . .ahem. And you put legitimate thought into the outfits, etc. I still say "fun" but anyone who's looking for what you're looking for just found it.
7. After hours specialist. Next time you're stone-cold rocking the after hours, look up. I guarantee you Sis will be there, part of the maffick. . .especially if it's at her house. I don't really know how she does it. It's not like she goes all moderation-style throughout the evening - I've seen her retarded drunk a few, um . . .thousand times. But she's right there, with all the hefty booze-addled dudes. And Sis. Somehow. Laughing, rocking - and kicking all of our pansy asses.
6. Scary smart. I'm have a theory to posit. People who try to act really smart (McGinley) aren't as smart as they think. People who don't, are smarter than you might believe. No one personifies this better than Sis. McGinley actually is really smart. Really, really fucking smart - and he knows. He's a keen observer of the human condition, and don't let the not-such-a-good Trivial Pursuit partner get you (hey, you knew Daisies and I didn't). There's a hell of a lot going on up there, and she knows how to get shit done. Pretty successful for a kid her age, too. You can't fool me, kido - I pick up on the perfect grammar, general knowledge, wisdom that belies your years, etc. The road ahead of you is going to be smooth. That's one member of the flock this Shepherd doesn't waste time worrying about.
5. Generous. This is the time I should also throw in a shout to one of my other faves. Gahannastan. Are there two more generous girls that we know? They routinely open there home to strangers, whether it be for a party or a wayward who needs a place to stay for the day, week, whatever. That's really nice, and the kind of thing that people never forget. Yet they do it without batting an eyelash, and make those folks feel comfortable and right at home. Good people these Gahannians.
4. Back to fun. My point earlier was about me picking "fun" as the number one option. These two are really fucking fun. I was adamantly opposed to the flip-cup tourney prior to it, thinking it contrived, and puerile, but remember vividly when I was told "Your PLAYING!" at Starbucks by Sis herself. Well, fortunately contrived and juvenile are the things that I hate to admit I am usually looking for and that party was straight fun. I had a great time, and it turned out to be the first time I ever hung out with Sleepy that night. Wait, Sleepy? Did I see you last night? I think I remember rolling extended hug on your coifed ass at about 1a.
3. Let's face it folks, she has hot friends. A veritable fucking gaggle of them. I cannot think of a one that isn't. This girl does not roll with the Ericas of the world. Quite the opposite. They range from cute, to hot, to McGregor has their phone numbers. Another great reason to not have all of her friends think you're an over-the-hill douchebag. They're real, real hot.
2. Forgiving. Both of 'em. And let's face it, that's a real plus in my column, considering I've acted like a complete idiot around them a few, uh . . . thousand times in the past year or so. How many times have I apologized? (The answer is a lot). And each time I get the "no worries" response. Even when I was blogging mean just a few days ago. That takes a big person. I'm a big fan. Thank you.
1. Overall. I think Sis and G win the "Best Overall" of 2006 category. They're nice, smart, fun, sweet people, who give their time and their home to us all. That's pretty rock-tacular. I'm happy that we've gotten to know each other better over the past year. One of the things that has made 2006 a touch more enjoyable for me. And it wasn't a real good one otherwise. But I have 2 cool friends and I'm happy for it. I think we all are. Here's to all the best for you in 2007.
Trends are life's way of reminding you consistency in patterns usually don't lead you anywhere.
- The Godfather has gone negativo on Art McGregor a lot over the past few days. Understandable. As someone very comfortable with my own flaws, I have no problem acknowleding the many errors in my way.
I am the first to admit I often use people for my own benefit. I'm not sure what admitting that says or means, but it's something I know about myself. Will it change? I don't know. I know we go out a lot, get wasted and spend tens of hours a week (sometimes a day) with each other. Tension is bound, baby. We're all smart guys and we see things that are happening. We're not blinded by each other's motivations. At the heart though, we all care most about each other and would do anything for any one of us.
It hurts that The Godfather has gone out of his way over the past few days to talk so negatively about me.
I think a lot of things that happened last night will greatly impact me over the next year.
I ended up talking to a girl in my kitchen. Usually, I view talking as a chore.
It was like Friday nights in high school. I had to cut the grass after school to make sure I'd be able to go out that night. Talking is like cutting the grass. Gotta do it to go out (in style) on Friday (or any other day that ends in -y) night.
Not since the Hurricane this summer had I actually spent a next day thinking about a last night. I was pretty quiet at lunch today and it was hilarious, as usual. Our waitress loved us. the Truth proved he'd be the world's worst Family Feud player and offered me some good advice. the Truth don't always hurt.
But I'm sitting there thinking about this girl from last night and wondering what she's up to today, if she had a good time last night, if I'll get a chance to hang out with her again. It's exciting. I'm not saying the "endless train of meaningless hookups" is making its last stop anytime soon, but I know I wouldn't mind getting off the train to take a walk with the Red Turtleneck.
Anyway, that is all. I hope to see Hurricane this weekend and mend some fences and I can't wait to maffick with all you motherfuckers.
- Art McGregor
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Where the fuck is McGinley?
A Death Cab for Cutie?
He blew his mind out in a car. He didn't notice that the lights had changed. When he caught a glimpse of Rita, standing by a parking meter, filling out a ticket in her little white book. I'm sorry that I doubted you. I was so unfair. You were in a car crash, and you lost your head. You said that you would be back, about an hour or two well that's OK, cause I'm waiting here, waiting to hear from you.
Is it even really McGinley? Well, here's another clue for you all. The Walrus wasn't Paul.
28IF.
- The One and Only Billy Shears
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
The German Village Media College Football Bowl Poll is struggling. Thus far, just three people have entered. Wow. Leading me/us to believe that this blog is not as big as we think.
Hmmm ... so we're obnoxiously self-centered? Who knew. Whatever, we're hoping more people can pony up the $10 to join.
What's next, hanging out at the Sober Shrek more often?
- Staff reports
Hmmm ... so we're obnoxiously self-centered? Who knew. Whatever, we're hoping more people can pony up the $10 to join.
What's next, hanging out at the Sober Shrek more often?
- Staff reports
- If there were ever a night we should have taken off, it was last night. Nope. We're riding out the year.
What a night. We won.
Some people left early (bad choice) and other's stayed until 2:30 (worse choice) ... but in the end, like hook-ups and pizza, the worse choices are usually better.
- Also, huge birthday wish to "The Girl in Cleveland" ... in the worst-kept secret in the history of German Village (like back to the 1800s), I'm glad I got to see you so often during this past year. Happy twofour.
- Art McGregor
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
GERMAN VILLAGE MEDIA BOWL POLL
Cost: $10
E-mail your selections to Art McGregor at artmcgregor@hotmail.com. You can pay Art any night this week at the Slo-Pitch or give the money to any GVM staff member or associate.
You will be e-mailed a confirmation and list of everyone else's selections so you can follow along over the next couple weeks.
Pick one winner for each game. For example, if you think Clemson will beat Kentucky by more than 9.5 points, pick Clemson. If you think Kentucky will beat Clemson or lose to Clemson by less than 9.5 points, pick Kentucky.
E-mail Art with any questions.
Deadline is noon on Friday, Dec. 29, 2006.
First-place winner will get 80 percent of total pot, with second place getting 20 percent.
Tiebreaker will be total points scored in title game. So if you think Ohio State will beat Florida 52-14, you'd say "66" for total points.
Good luck to all.
1. Music City Bowl
(Friday, Dec. 29, 1 p.m., ESPN)
Clemson -9.5
Kentucky
2. Sun Bowl
(Friday, Dec. 29, 2 p.m., CBS)
Oregon State -2.5
Missouri
3. Liberty Bowl
(Friday, Dec. 29, 4:30 p.m., ESPN2)
South Carolina -6.5
Houston
4. Insight Bowl
(Friday, Dec. 29, 7:30 p.m., NFL Network)
Texas Tech -6.5
Minnesota
5. Champs Sports Bowl
(Friday, Dec. 29, 8 p.m., ESPN)
Maryland Even
Purdue
6. Meineke Bowl
(Saturday, Dec. 30, 1 p.m., ESPN)
Boston College -6.5
Navy
7. Alamo Bowl
(Saturday, Dec. 30, 4:30 p.m., ESPN)
Texas -9.5
Iowa
8. Chick-Fil-A Bowl
(Saturday, Dec. 30, 8 p.m., ESPN)
Virginia Tech -2.5
Georgia
9. MPC Bowl
(Sunday, Dec. 31, 7:30 p.m., ESPN)
Miami -3.5
Nevada
10. Outback Bowl
(Monday, Jan. 1, 11 a.m., ESPN)
Tennessee -4.5
Penn State
11. Cotton Bowl
(Monday, Jan. 1, 11:30 a.m., Fox)
Auburn -1.5
Nebraska
12. Capital One Bowl
(Monday, Jan. 1, 1 p.m., ABC)
Arkansas -1.5
Wisconsin
13. Gator Bowl
(Monday, Jan. 1, 1 p.m., CBS)
West Virginia -10.5
Georgia Tech
14. Rose Bowl
(Monday, Jan. 1, 5 p.m., ABC)
USC -1.5
M*ch*g*n
15. Fiesta Bowl
(Monday, Jan. 1, 8:30 p.m., Fox)
Oklahoma -7.5
Boise State
16. Orange Bowl
(Tuesday, Jan. 2, 8 p.m., Fox)
Louisville -10.5
Wake Forest
17. Sugar Bowl
(Wednesday, Jan. 3, 8 p.m., Fox)
LSU -7.5
Notre Dame
18. International Bowl
(Saturday, Jan. 6, noon, ESPN2)
Cincinnati -8.5
Western Michigan
19. GMAC Bowl
(Sunday, Jan.7, 8 p.m., ESPN)
Southern Mississippi -6.5
Ohio (Ohio State-Athens)
20. BCS National Title Game
(Monday, Jan. 8, 8 p.m., Fox)
Ohio State -7.5
Florida
21. Total points in the BCS National Title Game?
- Staff reports
- The next time I meet someone depressing their nickname shall be "The Parking Lot at The City Center on December 26."
- Just got off the phone with my dad and he ended the conversation this way: "All right Doctor, talk to you soon, Luke."
Huh?
- The German Village Media College Football Bowl Poll will be announced later today. Cost is $10 with 80 percent of the winnings going to first place and 20 percent going to second place.
- Art McGregor
- Just got off the phone with my dad and he ended the conversation this way: "All right Doctor, talk to you soon, Luke."
Huh?
- The German Village Media College Football Bowl Poll will be announced later today. Cost is $10 with 80 percent of the winnings going to first place and 20 percent going to second place.
- Art McGregor
mistertrendy told The Mayor the most 100 percent true thing about me earlier this evening.
"If you're not doing something for [Art], you mean nothing to him."
So very correct. Made me realize I have to make a lot of changes in 2007.
But guess what? We still gots like five more days of '06. So I'll still be chasing after the TNG's and Red Turtlenecks of the world.
- Art McGregor
Monday, December 25, 2006
TD Hoodie, Slo-Pitch spokesperson, pleaded with McGregor last night and asked him to redact information shared on the blog from a post a few nights ago. (12/24/06 post about our night out on 12/23/06.)
This may change the way I blog about things in the future.
Today, I woke up. Right now I am blogging. Enough.
German Village Media regrets this oversight.
- Art McGregor
Bon jour a tout mes amis au Columbus, et les bureau a Chicago, North Carolina, Washington, et Le Disctrict de Columbia aussi.
Je suis trest herueux, et je pense j'aimer la jolie fille qui avec moi. J'espere tout sont avec votre familes, et dit "allo" a ton meres et ton peres pour moi, s'il vous plait.
Ne bois pas trop des bieres, et absolument ne conduire pas les voitures ce soir ou demain. Je retourne a Jeudi.
Joyeux Noel. Je vous aime tout!
- Monsieur McGinley
Je suis trest herueux, et je pense j'aimer la jolie fille qui avec moi. J'espere tout sont avec votre familes, et dit "allo" a ton meres et ton peres pour moi, s'il vous plait.
Ne bois pas trop des bieres, et absolument ne conduire pas les voitures ce soir ou demain. Je retourne a Jeudi.
Joyeux Noel. Je vous aime tout!
- Monsieur McGinley
Night at bar? = Success.
TNG, TNG's sister (a dancer), Peaches, Hoodie, McGregor. Love.
We brought up the prospect of a GVM Trivial Pursuit Tournament and I guaranteed a landslide victory. I'd kick all of your asses.
Ended the night belting out Ben Folds Five with Peaches and Hoodie and ... I am so glad to be living in the German Village.
Merry Christmas.
- Art McDominateYourAssinTrivialPursuit
TNG, TNG's sister (a dancer), Peaches, Hoodie, McGregor. Love.
We brought up the prospect of a GVM Trivial Pursuit Tournament and I guaranteed a landslide victory. I'd kick all of your asses.
Ended the night belting out Ben Folds Five with Peaches and Hoodie and ... I am so glad to be living in the German Village.
Merry Christmas.
- Art McDominateYourAssinTrivialPursuit
Sunday, December 24, 2006
WHO DEY GOING TO GET TO LONG SNAP?
That's why they're called the Bungles, folks. Nice effort today by the folks with the stripes on their helmet. Everyone down in Kentucky has to be seriously disheartened with this effort. As we figured that NFL team in northeast Ohio had cornered the market on losses like that.
In other news, I'll be heading to the Sober Shrek to celebrate Jesus' birth with many who do not believe in Jesus.
- Art McGregorstein
1. XXXO
2. VXXXDS
3. THX JUKXBOX AT THE SLX-PXTCH
My three least favorite things at Holiday time.
So, last night things went extremely well with the Dem's Daughter. TD Hoodie and The Mayor both seemed impressed with my selection. It was a good time until she bailed around midnight. Still, we managed to have fun. Look forward to seeing Demi again in the future.
Until, of course, STEPHANIE (fuck yea) told The Mayor that, "you are creepy." Whatever. It's Christmas Eve. And trust me, being called a Stephanie (fuck yea) is a very good thing. Eh, maybe The Mayor saying "Stephanie" in a really creepy voice as she walked by (and Stephanie actually was her name) is creepy state.
More creepy is when I started talking about how hot Stephanie Tanner was. Not is. Was.
So, as I predicted all along, you put the Christmas CD in and people will be swaying back and forth in happiness. They put it in. People are swaying back and forth (I swear they even started serving hot chocolate with whipped cream) and people were taking pictures, singing along. But then the staff must have remembered it's July and who wants to hear Christmas music in a bar in July? So they turned it off and turned on "Music to Kill Yourself To Volume 4". Good move. Never could get enough of that Pink Flloyd.
We mingled with the Hoodies who were drinking with a girl [REDACTED 12/25/06 5:06 p.m.].
We did shots and I actually got a text message from The Mayor while standing next to one another where he said, "Another shot? (1:43 a.m.)"
I'll be out tonight at The Sober Shrek for anyone else still in and around the German Village State.
- Art McGigolo
Saturday, December 23, 2006
German Village Media's
2006 Senior Superlatives
I googled "senior superlatives" for our list. (http://hhs.caldwellschools.com/senior_superlatives.htm ... That "Most Athletic" is a real shocker.) I will also add a best and worst couple.
Best Dressed: McLimited
Although The Mayor once said, "If he wears that green scarf out one more time ...," McLimited has helped shape the fashion scene in the German Village since his arrival. He's one Fashionista I'm glad is on my team. (Well, he's not really on my team.)
Most Athletic: The Mayor
There is little doubt that others may be more athletic, but The Mayor responded this year with an actual athletic event. He beat Lance Armstrong in the ING NYC Marathon. I don't think the rest of us participated in one organized sporting event this entire year. (I do not count the time I brought two girls home from The Slo-Pitch. Go Bucks.)
Most Courteous: The Godfather
McGinley and courteous, I just can't get down with that. He may be far more generous, but no one is nicer than The Godfather. Sometimes I wish he was less nice but there's little (if anything) he wouldn't do for you and it's very genuine. Genuine? Ride it, my pony.
Best Couple: TD Hoodie and Art McGregor
Mrs. McGinley/Beta Juliet once asked McGinley/McGinley about the sloppy-haired redhead and his boyfriend, the tallish guy they call Hoodie. End of story.
Worst Couple: Choo-nique
Most Intellectual: TD Hoodie
I think we've all been talking to Hoodrow at one point when his story loses us. I try to act interested but it's tough sometimes with his immense knowledge of everything I know nothing about.
Wittiest: The Godfather
I am only witty when I'm talking to girls I'm interested in. If I'm not interested in you, I'm not witty. The Godfather (see Most Courteous) is witty at all times. McGinley? He's just oh so pretty.
Friendliest: The Godfather
The Godfather (German Village Media) by forfeit. None of us (other than him) are friendly.
Most School Spirit: McGinley
No one has spread the word of the blog more often. I only spread word of the blog to girls I'm interested in so I can eventually skewer them for more than 160 readers.
Best Looking: McLimited and Sunday/Sis/Punter
Again, thank God he's not on my team. The female competition is indeed fierce, and although Sunday/Sis/Punter has made some questionable personnel decisions, she is not a part of Worst Couple and always offers explanations for her questionable talent evaluations.
Best Smile: Peaches
Can't say enough about the niceness of this girl. It's not like none of us hate going into The Slo-Pitch or anything, but seeing that girl smile always turns an already even better night into an EEBN (even even better night.)
Most Likely to Succeed: Art McGregor
Though The Godfather has dubbed McGregor's nights out as an "endless train of meaningless hookups," you have to ask yourself this question before any night out:
Who is most likely to succeed?
Most Talented: All
"Talent" might be my favorite word. It means everything good. And we are everything good.
Best All-Around: mistertrendy
Surprising selection. But the guy is a great friend, a great boyfriend and hilarious. He's also the impetus behind this blog.
Class Flirt: (I will get my ass beat for whatever I say here.) Thinking ... thinking ... Not touching this one. (Man, I haven't said that a lot this year.)
Most Dependable: McGinley
Tickets? Check. 30 beers a week (for me)? Check. $400 tabs picked up? Check. Awesome text messages during tough times? Check. Craziness? Check. Anything else we'd ever need from him? Check.
Check, please. I'm out of here.
- Art McGregor
2006 Senior Superlatives
I googled "senior superlatives" for our list. (http://hhs.caldwellschools.com/senior_superlatives.htm ... That "Most Athletic" is a real shocker.) I will also add a best and worst couple.
Best Dressed: McLimited
Although The Mayor once said, "If he wears that green scarf out one more time ...," McLimited has helped shape the fashion scene in the German Village since his arrival. He's one Fashionista I'm glad is on my team. (Well, he's not really on my team.)
Most Athletic: The Mayor
There is little doubt that others may be more athletic, but The Mayor responded this year with an actual athletic event. He beat Lance Armstrong in the ING NYC Marathon. I don't think the rest of us participated in one organized sporting event this entire year. (I do not count the time I brought two girls home from The Slo-Pitch. Go Bucks.)
Most Courteous: The Godfather
McGinley and courteous, I just can't get down with that. He may be far more generous, but no one is nicer than The Godfather. Sometimes I wish he was less nice but there's little (if anything) he wouldn't do for you and it's very genuine. Genuine? Ride it, my pony.
Best Couple: TD Hoodie and Art McGregor
Mrs. McGinley/Beta Juliet once asked McGinley/McGinley about the sloppy-haired redhead and his boyfriend, the tallish guy they call Hoodie. End of story.
Worst Couple: Choo-nique
Most Intellectual: TD Hoodie
I think we've all been talking to Hoodrow at one point when his story loses us. I try to act interested but it's tough sometimes with his immense knowledge of everything I know nothing about.
Wittiest: The Godfather
I am only witty when I'm talking to girls I'm interested in. If I'm not interested in you, I'm not witty. The Godfather (see Most Courteous) is witty at all times. McGinley? He's just oh so pretty.
Friendliest: The Godfather
The Godfather (German Village Media) by forfeit. None of us (other than him) are friendly.
Most School Spirit: McGinley
No one has spread the word of the blog more often. I only spread word of the blog to girls I'm interested in so I can eventually skewer them for more than 160 readers.
Best Looking: McLimited and Sunday/Sis/Punter
Again, thank God he's not on my team. The female competition is indeed fierce, and although Sunday/Sis/Punter has made some questionable personnel decisions, she is not a part of Worst Couple and always offers explanations for her questionable talent evaluations.
Best Smile: Peaches
Can't say enough about the niceness of this girl. It's not like none of us hate going into The Slo-Pitch or anything, but seeing that girl smile always turns an already even better night into an EEBN (even even better night.)
Most Likely to Succeed: Art McGregor
Though The Godfather has dubbed McGregor's nights out as an "endless train of meaningless hookups," you have to ask yourself this question before any night out:
Who is most likely to succeed?
Most Talented: All
"Talent" might be my favorite word. It means everything good. And we are everything good.
Best All-Around: mistertrendy
Surprising selection. But the guy is a great friend, a great boyfriend and hilarious. He's also the impetus behind this blog.
Class Flirt: (I will get my ass beat for whatever I say here.) Thinking ... thinking ... Not touching this one. (Man, I haven't said that a lot this year.)
Most Dependable: McGinley
Tickets? Check. 30 beers a week (for me)? Check. $400 tabs picked up? Check. Awesome text messages during tough times? Check. Craziness? Check. Anything else we'd ever need from him? Check.
Check, please. I'm out of here.
- Art McGregor
First, fabulous, fabulous post Lil'. I absolutely love #2. I laughed for 5 minutes.
Next, Arty, you gotta understand that girls WANT to be mean. They do it on purpose. Why? Because they're not us, and they can't fucking stand it. That's why a few former friends of mine intentionally made a spectacle of me last night and singled me out for ridicule on purpose. These are not rational people who can properly be trusted with human emotion. They're sociopaths. Girls.
The key, I guess, is to not let it get to you, though I am FAR from mastering that art, Art. Anyway, the only one of my friends who never gave a second thought to going to that affair was the Mayor, with whom I would later have, in the words of McGoBlue, a "scuffle" at Mayle's. face it folks, he's my best friend.
We were really fucked up. And how about McGoBlue picking up our tab? The rest of you came around once you realized what was going on, and I appreciate that. As males, we have to be there for one another because females are ridiculous. I wake today troubled that Godfather truly believes I've changed and no longer seems to really like me, even though I know he loves me. I'm working on it. I'm dedicating 2007 to rehabilitating that relationship. I've been adrift this year, and I'm sorry. I sucked for most of '06, but then again, I was being shit-stomped by some seriously wrong people for most of it.
Interestingly, I would last night recieve an email from one of the wickens asking me for hockey tickets after the intentional insult was shivved into my mid-section. And I agreed to get them. What the fuck is the matter with me?
Anyway sorry that happened to you Art. I love you. Tough week. Tough year. But the Buckeyes rule, and we play Florida today. Glad I got to know you this year, it was one of the highlights of an otherwise lackluster 52-week span. I think sometimes we (I) get caught up in the drama of it all and seem to forget how lucky we are. Girls hate us because we are us and want to drag us down to their miserable level. But while they're doing it, you have to remember . . . we're US! Holy shit. We are so fortunate. If we weren't so fucking fantastic, gorls wouldn't need to try to drag us down. Try to keep that in mind.
Godfather is on deck. Can't wait for our first baseball roadie . . . and I won't cancel it this time.
Better days lay ahead.
- McGinley
Next, Arty, you gotta understand that girls WANT to be mean. They do it on purpose. Why? Because they're not us, and they can't fucking stand it. That's why a few former friends of mine intentionally made a spectacle of me last night and singled me out for ridicule on purpose. These are not rational people who can properly be trusted with human emotion. They're sociopaths. Girls.
The key, I guess, is to not let it get to you, though I am FAR from mastering that art, Art. Anyway, the only one of my friends who never gave a second thought to going to that affair was the Mayor, with whom I would later have, in the words of McGoBlue, a "scuffle" at Mayle's. face it folks, he's my best friend.
We were really fucked up. And how about McGoBlue picking up our tab? The rest of you came around once you realized what was going on, and I appreciate that. As males, we have to be there for one another because females are ridiculous. I wake today troubled that Godfather truly believes I've changed and no longer seems to really like me, even though I know he loves me. I'm working on it. I'm dedicating 2007 to rehabilitating that relationship. I've been adrift this year, and I'm sorry. I sucked for most of '06, but then again, I was being shit-stomped by some seriously wrong people for most of it.
Interestingly, I would last night recieve an email from one of the wickens asking me for hockey tickets after the intentional insult was shivved into my mid-section. And I agreed to get them. What the fuck is the matter with me?
Anyway sorry that happened to you Art. I love you. Tough week. Tough year. But the Buckeyes rule, and we play Florida today. Glad I got to know you this year, it was one of the highlights of an otherwise lackluster 52-week span. I think sometimes we (I) get caught up in the drama of it all and seem to forget how lucky we are. Girls hate us because we are us and want to drag us down to their miserable level. But while they're doing it, you have to remember . . . we're US! Holy shit. We are so fortunate. If we weren't so fucking fantastic, gorls wouldn't need to try to drag us down. Try to keep that in mind.
Godfather is on deck. Can't wait for our first baseball roadie . . . and I won't cancel it this time.
Better days lay ahead.
- McGinley
First of all, fuck Baltimore. Fuck the entire state of Maryland. Fuck Superman. Fuck you.
Thank you for making the worse week ever even worser. You have seriously got to be fucking kidding me.
Anyone who reads this blog, let me ask you a question.
Let's say you dated someone for close to two years. Let's say that person dumped you TWICE. Let's say you made two or three considerable, CONSIDERABLE sacrifices to remain a part of her life. Let's say you used to fly 4,000 miles to see her every few weeks. Let's say she knew you hung out at a certain bar a lot. Let's say that the first time she brings her new fucking douche fuck home, she brings him to that bar. On a Friday night.
Fuck you Baltimore. Fuck. you.
- AMG
Thank you for making the worse week ever even worser. You have seriously got to be fucking kidding me.
Anyone who reads this blog, let me ask you a question.
Let's say you dated someone for close to two years. Let's say that person dumped you TWICE. Let's say you made two or three considerable, CONSIDERABLE sacrifices to remain a part of her life. Let's say you used to fly 4,000 miles to see her every few weeks. Let's say she knew you hung out at a certain bar a lot. Let's say that the first time she brings her new fucking douche fuck home, she brings him to that bar. On a Friday night.
Fuck you Baltimore. Fuck. you.
- AMG
Friday, December 22, 2006
Earlier this week, Little Seizures, chief of German Village Media’s Chicago bureau and life-long Who-Dey fan, traveled to the Crossroads of America for the Monday Night Football game between his beloved Cincinnati Bengals and the Indianapolis Colts.
Though the Bengals failed to do any better in the RCA Dome than Cincinnati’s Bearcats had done two days earlier at Conseco Fieldhouse, Doc Seize soldiered on with this report on the game, a top ten list which we present without further hesitation.
-The Godfather
Top Ten Observations of Indianapolis during Monday Night Football
10. Colts fans are pussies, no getting around it. They are a pitiful, pitiful group. They let the few thousand Bengals fans chant "de-fense" and "who dey" throughout the game. That would never happen in Pittsburgh or Cleveland.
9. If you sold Colts jerseys in Indy, you would be a goddamn millionaire. Their fans are to uniforms what the Bengals fans are to hard hats.
8. Colts fans won't go negative. As I am walking back to my car, this tough guy stares me down and comes up with "Go Colts". I can't even get a "go fuck yourself"? Coward.
7. Their fans aren't creative. The asshole sitting next to me had to say every Colt receiver in Spanish, i.e. for every Harrison catch, I got a "What a catch by Ocho Ocho." I get the joke buddy, but is it really necessary all game?
6. The fans have zero witty retorts. "You wish you were us.” My response? "I do, I want to remember the good old days when we dominated the mediocre AFC South and got our asses kicked by New England / Pittsburgh / New York / Denver, then watch our star QB threw everybody but himself under the bus. Good times!" I mean, you can't come up with one Stanley Wilson, Ickey selling meat, DUIs, Chris Henry, joke...something, anything? Where is The Godfather when you need him to re-enact the Krumrie injury?
5. Vanderjagt jokes also work well. After one of Chad's many, many drops, "doesn't he get paid to catch the ball?" "Didn't your kicker get paid to make 47 yard field goals in a dome during the playoffs?"
4. Some teams should not honor their past. Case in point, did you know Jim Harbaugh is in the Colts ring of honor? That's right, that Jim Harbaugh. At least the Bengals have the sense not to put up a ring of honor when their shouldn't be one.
3. Indy when you are drunk is a great time...Indy when you are sober...uh, not so much.
2. "CUTTERS" never gets old
1. "At least our coach's kids are still alive jokes" are NOT appreciated by anyone in attendance.
-Lil’ Seizures
Though the Bengals failed to do any better in the RCA Dome than Cincinnati’s Bearcats had done two days earlier at Conseco Fieldhouse, Doc Seize soldiered on with this report on the game, a top ten list which we present without further hesitation.
-The Godfather
Top Ten Observations of Indianapolis during Monday Night Football
10. Colts fans are pussies, no getting around it. They are a pitiful, pitiful group. They let the few thousand Bengals fans chant "de-fense" and "who dey" throughout the game. That would never happen in Pittsburgh or Cleveland.
9. If you sold Colts jerseys in Indy, you would be a goddamn millionaire. Their fans are to uniforms what the Bengals fans are to hard hats.
8. Colts fans won't go negative. As I am walking back to my car, this tough guy stares me down and comes up with "Go Colts". I can't even get a "go fuck yourself"? Coward.
7. Their fans aren't creative. The asshole sitting next to me had to say every Colt receiver in Spanish, i.e. for every Harrison catch, I got a "What a catch by Ocho Ocho." I get the joke buddy, but is it really necessary all game?
6. The fans have zero witty retorts. "You wish you were us.” My response? "I do, I want to remember the good old days when we dominated the mediocre AFC South and got our asses kicked by New England / Pittsburgh / New York / Denver, then watch our star QB threw everybody but himself under the bus. Good times!" I mean, you can't come up with one Stanley Wilson, Ickey selling meat, DUIs, Chris Henry, joke...something, anything? Where is The Godfather when you need him to re-enact the Krumrie injury?
5. Vanderjagt jokes also work well. After one of Chad's many, many drops, "doesn't he get paid to catch the ball?" "Didn't your kicker get paid to make 47 yard field goals in a dome during the playoffs?"
4. Some teams should not honor their past. Case in point, did you know Jim Harbaugh is in the Colts ring of honor? That's right, that Jim Harbaugh. At least the Bengals have the sense not to put up a ring of honor when their shouldn't be one.
3. Indy when you are drunk is a great time...Indy when you are sober...uh, not so much.
2. "CUTTERS" never gets old
1. "At least our coach's kids are still alive jokes" are NOT appreciated by anyone in attendance.
-Lil’ Seizures
- I promise. This is my last funeral reference on this blog. So, today ... last blog about funerals and maybe shoes? Just for kicks.
More than 3,000 people attended my grandma's calling hours on Wednesday. The wait in line was between two and three hours from 3 p.m. to 8 p.m. I have never seen so many people in a church.
I was a pall bearer (spelling?) at Thursday's funeral. I was at the front of the casket. That's usually where the strongest guys are. Since I'm not as tall as Sleepy, they put me in the front. I asked the funeral director where the weak and good looking go. She did not answer me.
- A lot of people asked me if I was married yet. I said "no and likely never." I informed them that I could never put someone else's wants and needs ...
"Ahead of yours?" they asked.
"Not within 2,000 steps of my own," I said.
- Last night was sort of a bummer. My beforehours were lame. I liked the crowd and the drinking but something was missing.
- Looking forward to a strong performance tonight.
- Had lunch at Northstar. Hot people eat there. Uglies work there.
- I'm going to Easton here in a little bit. Then have some work to do and ...
I am going to hump McCampus when I see him.
trendy's, i'm thinking of you two back in Youngstown.
- Art McGregor
More than 3,000 people attended my grandma's calling hours on Wednesday. The wait in line was between two and three hours from 3 p.m. to 8 p.m. I have never seen so many people in a church.
I was a pall bearer (spelling?) at Thursday's funeral. I was at the front of the casket. That's usually where the strongest guys are. Since I'm not as tall as Sleepy, they put me in the front. I asked the funeral director where the weak and good looking go. She did not answer me.
- A lot of people asked me if I was married yet. I said "no and likely never." I informed them that I could never put someone else's wants and needs ...
"Ahead of yours?" they asked.
"Not within 2,000 steps of my own," I said.
- Last night was sort of a bummer. My beforehours were lame. I liked the crowd and the drinking but something was missing.
- Looking forward to a strong performance tonight.
- Had lunch at Northstar. Hot people eat there. Uglies work there.
- I'm going to Easton here in a little bit. Then have some work to do and ...
I am going to hump McCampus when I see him.
trendy's, i'm thinking of you two back in Youngstown.
- Art McGregor
McJewhair and I exchanged the following text messages last night.
Me: "Straight up rocking a pair of black Gucci loafers I found in OUR closet."
Jewy: "Easy on the shoes."
Me: "'tev"
Jew: "Those shoes better not get wet!" (it was raining)
Me: "Our house? Our yard? Our dog? . . . Our fucking shoes."
The conversation continued in person this morning.
The Jew: "Yeah, no more shoe shopping in (Jewy)'s closet for shoes, OK?"
Me: "Yeah, no. I'm liking this new little arrangement."
Heeby: "Yeah well I don't."
Me: "Tough. In fact, I think I'll wear these tonight!" (I pick out a pair of velour Double G Gucci loafers tucked way in the back of the shoe rack.
Shylock: "DO NOT EVER wear those shoes."
Me: "Why not?"
Jewhair: "I only wear those on extremely rare occasions. They have only seen the light of day like twice. And I have to be CERTAIN that there isn't even a CHANCE of rain in the forecase, or they stay inside."
OK, so those are off limits. But the rest are fair game. Manlaw. Besides, I looked great in those fuckers last night. And I can Fred Astaire it a little, too. Just ask Mayle and the Mayle's denizens who applauded my impromptu performance last night to a cool jazz version of "Let it Snow".
Oh and thanks to my , ahem . . . friends for keeping me apprised of your whereabouts throughout the evening. That was cool. Thanks a lot. An original member/lead sled dog/organizer of the last 2 GVM nights at Nationwide has become a second-class citi in less than two weeks. Oh well.
A little bird informs GVM that the first-ever international post may be coming very soon. Stay tuned.
In other unrelated news, congratulations to Columbus City Schools newest Board member, Shawna Gibbs. That's how they spell it. I hear she takes office on Monday.
Everybody hates Mondays.
- McGinley-class citizen
Me: "Straight up rocking a pair of black Gucci loafers I found in OUR closet."
Jewy: "Easy on the shoes."
Me: "'tev"
Jew: "Those shoes better not get wet!" (it was raining)
Me: "Our house? Our yard? Our dog? . . . Our fucking shoes."
The conversation continued in person this morning.
The Jew: "Yeah, no more shoe shopping in (Jewy)'s closet for shoes, OK?"
Me: "Yeah, no. I'm liking this new little arrangement."
Heeby: "Yeah well I don't."
Me: "Tough. In fact, I think I'll wear these tonight!" (I pick out a pair of velour Double G Gucci loafers tucked way in the back of the shoe rack.
Shylock: "DO NOT EVER wear those shoes."
Me: "Why not?"
Jewhair: "I only wear those on extremely rare occasions. They have only seen the light of day like twice. And I have to be CERTAIN that there isn't even a CHANCE of rain in the forecase, or they stay inside."
OK, so those are off limits. But the rest are fair game. Manlaw. Besides, I looked great in those fuckers last night. And I can Fred Astaire it a little, too. Just ask Mayle and the Mayle's denizens who applauded my impromptu performance last night to a cool jazz version of "Let it Snow".
Oh and thanks to my , ahem . . . friends for keeping me apprised of your whereabouts throughout the evening. That was cool. Thanks a lot. An original member/lead sled dog/organizer of the last 2 GVM nights at Nationwide has become a second-class citi in less than two weeks. Oh well.
A little bird informs GVM that the first-ever international post may be coming very soon. Stay tuned.
In other unrelated news, congratulations to Columbus City Schools newest Board member, Shawna Gibbs. That's how they spell it. I hear she takes office on Monday.
Everybody hates Mondays.
- McGinley-class citizen
Thursday, December 21, 2006
I'd like to thank all the voters who participated in this year's "Best of 2006" poll. In the end, it came down to a close vote between the Buckeyes run and Troy Ginn's birth. Turl came through in surprising fashion. We even had a vote for dating Hoodie (which was not one of the choices) and a celebrity shout-out for maffick (one of the all time great words).
Unfortunately, you're all fucking wrong.
The best thing to happen in 2006 was that fat fuck Jennette Bradley getting beaten in the single most humilitating loss in Ohio political history.
Think about it. The most arrogant, unaccomplished, bumbling, er...team, arrives via appointment to a statewide office and immediately begins seeking out enemies. As a seated statewide, she lost in a Primary to a virtual nobody from one of Ohio's smallest counties, who spent $6,000, and watched the election returns FROM HER HOUSE.
It wasn't even really close. Yet that hasn't stopped her uh, advisors? from publicly blaming the loss on the candidate. Unprofessional, in-over-their-heads, losers, who typify what's happened to the talent pool in our party and why we find ourselves in the predicament we're now in. Go away. Consider it a mercy killing and one final favor to the Party that's treated you so well all these years. Or go to campaign school, volunteer for someone, get your heads out of your asses, and realize that you don't know shit. Way to completely fuck up a sure thing.
Merry Christmas douchebags.
There, it was nice to get that off my chest. All the best to everyone (but them) in 2007.
- McGinley
Unfortunately, you're all fucking wrong.
The best thing to happen in 2006 was that fat fuck Jennette Bradley getting beaten in the single most humilitating loss in Ohio political history.
Think about it. The most arrogant, unaccomplished, bumbling, er...team, arrives via appointment to a statewide office and immediately begins seeking out enemies. As a seated statewide, she lost in a Primary to a virtual nobody from one of Ohio's smallest counties, who spent $6,000, and watched the election returns FROM HER HOUSE.
It wasn't even really close. Yet that hasn't stopped her uh, advisors? from publicly blaming the loss on the candidate. Unprofessional, in-over-their-heads, losers, who typify what's happened to the talent pool in our party and why we find ourselves in the predicament we're now in. Go away. Consider it a mercy killing and one final favor to the Party that's treated you so well all these years. Or go to campaign school, volunteer for someone, get your heads out of your asses, and realize that you don't know shit. Way to completely fuck up a sure thing.
Merry Christmas douchebags.
There, it was nice to get that off my chest. All the best to everyone (but them) in 2007.
- McGinley
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
I just realized I do not own a pair of black socks. That would be worse if I was African-American and a member of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
A lot of people have told me I'd be late to my own funeral. Might be a little late to this one today in Youngstown. I'm not really in any hurry to go, though.
Moving on, last night was fun:
- McGinley busted out the crazy McGinley eyes. Brief cameo.
- The Mayor and I discussed the playlist for the NYE celebration. "Still the One" by Orleans will be the second song post-midnight.
- A staff member at The Slo-Pitch, when invited to the celebration by said The Mayor, asked, "can normal people go this thing?"
- Normal people.
- When we were at the 1961, Sis/Punter/Sunday and I had an extended conversation over near the northwest corner of the bar in which the response to every statement (on both sides) was, "yeah, you're right."
- For awhile there, I was stuck between Saturday and the Sunday.
- We talked about how certain things blind us and it's really no use trying to deny yourself your singular focus as long as it's not self-destructive.
As for the singular focus? We all have them. Or is it it? It's not like I do, or anything.
- Strawberry called me out on a few statements I made on this blog. I, of course, began talking about the weather when questioned.
As for the singular focus? We all have them. Or is it it? It's not like I do, or anything.
That said, I'm headed back home ... in search of black socks and brighter memories.
- Art McGregor
A lot of people have told me I'd be late to my own funeral. Might be a little late to this one today in Youngstown. I'm not really in any hurry to go, though.
Moving on, last night was fun:
- McGinley busted out the crazy McGinley eyes. Brief cameo.
- The Mayor and I discussed the playlist for the NYE celebration. "Still the One" by Orleans will be the second song post-midnight.
- A staff member at The Slo-Pitch, when invited to the celebration by said The Mayor, asked, "can normal people go this thing?"
- Normal people.
- When we were at the 1961, Sis/Punter/Sunday and I had an extended conversation over near the northwest corner of the bar in which the response to every statement (on both sides) was, "yeah, you're right."
- For awhile there, I was stuck between Saturday and the Sunday.
- We talked about how certain things blind us and it's really no use trying to deny yourself your singular focus as long as it's not self-destructive.
As for the singular focus? We all have them. Or is it it? It's not like I do, or anything.
- Strawberry called me out on a few statements I made on this blog. I, of course, began talking about the weather when questioned.
As for the singular focus? We all have them. Or is it it? It's not like I do, or anything.
That said, I'm headed back home ... in search of black socks and brighter memories.
- Art McGregor
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Greatest thing to happen in 2006:
Vote for one of the following under "comments"
1. Troy Ginn born
2. McGinley meets, touches, talks to Townshend
3. German Village media created
4. Turl
5. Ryce pulls out miracle win
6. Undefeated Buckeyes roll Michigan, Smith grabs Heisman
7. Buckeye Hoopsters win Big 10, nab nation's top recruiting class
8. Great SloPitch caper concludes with Mayoral re-admission
9. Discovery of word "maffick"
10. New Mayle's Patio debuts
remember vote for one and one only.
- McGinley
Vote for one of the following under "comments"
1. Troy Ginn born
2. McGinley meets, touches, talks to Townshend
3. German Village media created
4. Turl
5. Ryce pulls out miracle win
6. Undefeated Buckeyes roll Michigan, Smith grabs Heisman
7. Buckeye Hoopsters win Big 10, nab nation's top recruiting class
8. Great SloPitch caper concludes with Mayoral re-admission
9. Discovery of word "maffick"
10. New Mayle's Patio debuts
remember vote for one and one only.
- McGinley
What does Bono see through those sunglasses?
After viewing a picture of Bono visiting the White House, I noticed that even when meeting with the President of the United States , he still wears his sunglasses.
In this case, they appear similar to those used in target practice.
And it got me thinking, what purpose do the sunglasses serve and what does he see through them? I have a few working theories:
1. Futuristic Human/Android Hybrid Vision Enhancement – Much like the vision of Predator or T2, the glasses could provide a variety of heads-up display information to provide a better understanding of the world around him. Rather than targeting battlefield opponents, the glasses would lock on to poor children and environmental issues giving him access to information that could be used in an immediate (and integrated) conference call to someone with more money than him to solicit donations.
2. Superglue accident – While attempting to repair some really expensive Boucheron sunglasses that Lenny Kravitz borrowed without permission, accidentally sat on and refused to replace – what a cheap bastard - Bono (who feels very out of place without the safety and comfort of his shades) put them on too early before the superglue could dry, permanently bonding them to his face. Too cool to care, Bono decided to roll with it.
3. Peace Filter – Through complex light refraction technology, the glasses take whats actually happening in the real world and modify the message sent to his brain to create, well, a “rosey” view of the world. Features include the filtering out of basic human nature allowing Bono to find the good in everyone (even cannibalistic genocidal maniacs). They help Bono assume peace is possible anytime he talks about a conflict and requests money for it. This will be especially important for his biggest challenge to date, beginning Monday, Jan. 1, 2007. Bono will attempt to milk the world’s largest charity for everything its worth as the glasses have helped him to understand that money solves problems.
With an efficiency rate of less than 90 percent and a deplorable administration, he’s got his work cut out for him to get those ten cents on the dollar out of the piggy bank and distributed to people really far away that actually have no way to spend the money given to them on a long term solution. The charity? Yes, it’s the Democratic Party. Bono is foaming at the mouth.
4. Charity Halftime Show – Bono hopes the look will aid in working the back channels to get in with Melinda Gates in an effort to run an actual charity that has purpose and a plan. Bono would of course take the opportunity to produce the world’s largest Super Bowl halftime show located in Africa and would be the first U2 concert viewable from space. Costing around $2 billion the show would raise awareness that it does in fact suck to live in Africa .
5. Inspiration - They help him recycle the same 4 songs from U2’s first record.
6. iBono – The glasses actually make Bono a computer/scientist. They have over 25 gb of storage, the latest computer technology from Apple and are wired straight into his brain through a hole in his forehead. The glasses allow him to discuss complicated issues such as global warming and tell others what they should think about it. The good news is that since Apple makes the glasses, and he just upgraded in October, he’ll be ready for the surprise release this month that makes his old glasses worthless because of exciting new features. He’s expected to stop talking about Global Warming and actually come up with a solvent method of impacting the issue while taking the complex global economics into consideration. He’s also expected to cure cancer, end world hunger, and figure out a way for the Browns to make it to the Super Bowl. (The one with the halftime show in Africa).
7. Gloc theory - Bono packs heat and always wears his shooting glasses, just in case he needs to draw. Lotta duals where Bono comes from.
Please submit you’re theory so we can take a poll and deicide once and for all: Why does Bono wear those sunglasses?
- TD Hoodie
After viewing a picture of Bono visiting the White House, I noticed that even when meeting with the President of the United States , he still wears his sunglasses.
In this case, they appear similar to those used in target practice.
And it got me thinking, what purpose do the sunglasses serve and what does he see through them? I have a few working theories:
1. Futuristic Human/Android Hybrid Vision Enhancement – Much like the vision of Predator or T2, the glasses could provide a variety of heads-up display information to provide a better understanding of the world around him. Rather than targeting battlefield opponents, the glasses would lock on to poor children and environmental issues giving him access to information that could be used in an immediate (and integrated) conference call to someone with more money than him to solicit donations.
2. Superglue accident – While attempting to repair some really expensive Boucheron sunglasses that Lenny Kravitz borrowed without permission, accidentally sat on and refused to replace – what a cheap bastard - Bono (who feels very out of place without the safety and comfort of his shades) put them on too early before the superglue could dry, permanently bonding them to his face. Too cool to care, Bono decided to roll with it.
3. Peace Filter – Through complex light refraction technology, the glasses take whats actually happening in the real world and modify the message sent to his brain to create, well, a “rosey” view of the world. Features include the filtering out of basic human nature allowing Bono to find the good in everyone (even cannibalistic genocidal maniacs). They help Bono assume peace is possible anytime he talks about a conflict and requests money for it. This will be especially important for his biggest challenge to date, beginning Monday, Jan. 1, 2007. Bono will attempt to milk the world’s largest charity for everything its worth as the glasses have helped him to understand that money solves problems.
With an efficiency rate of less than 90 percent and a deplorable administration, he’s got his work cut out for him to get those ten cents on the dollar out of the piggy bank and distributed to people really far away that actually have no way to spend the money given to them on a long term solution. The charity? Yes, it’s the Democratic Party. Bono is foaming at the mouth.
4. Charity Halftime Show – Bono hopes the look will aid in working the back channels to get in with Melinda Gates in an effort to run an actual charity that has purpose and a plan. Bono would of course take the opportunity to produce the world’s largest Super Bowl halftime show located in Africa and would be the first U2 concert viewable from space. Costing around $2 billion the show would raise awareness that it does in fact suck to live in Africa .
5. Inspiration - They help him recycle the same 4 songs from U2’s first record.
6. iBono – The glasses actually make Bono a computer/scientist. They have over 25 gb of storage, the latest computer technology from Apple and are wired straight into his brain through a hole in his forehead. The glasses allow him to discuss complicated issues such as global warming and tell others what they should think about it. The good news is that since Apple makes the glasses, and he just upgraded in October, he’ll be ready for the surprise release this month that makes his old glasses worthless because of exciting new features. He’s expected to stop talking about Global Warming and actually come up with a solvent method of impacting the issue while taking the complex global economics into consideration. He’s also expected to cure cancer, end world hunger, and figure out a way for the Browns to make it to the Super Bowl. (The one with the halftime show in Africa).
7. Gloc theory - Bono packs heat and always wears his shooting glasses, just in case he needs to draw. Lotta duals where Bono comes from.
Please submit you’re theory so we can take a poll and deicide once and for all: Why does Bono wear those sunglasses?
- TD Hoodie
Everyone was an All-Star tonight. Thanks so much.
- McGinley. You get it. I know that doesn't sound like much. But really, you get it. Thank you.
- The Godfather. You didn't have to come out tonight. Thank you.
- mistertrendy. You are such a good friend. Thank you.
- McCampus. You said it all. "Really? Ol' scraggily beard over there in the corner of the bar? No! I almost wanted to go buy him a drink. I felt embarassed for him." Thank you.
(SIDE NOTE: McCampus and I came back here and rocked out to about a half can of GRIZZLY tobacco and he just texted me: "Grizzly State".)
- the Truth. I love that you told me you were wearing Ben Gay patches. Thank you.
- Hoodie. I like seeing you. I don't know what I mean with that, but when I see you, it's always a good time. We had about four text message exchanges tonight where we were talking about different things. Thank you.
- Hurricane. A call from the 919 eliminates most everything shitty. Thank you.
- NJ Attorney Girl. I had a rough weekend. Seeing you tonight in the scarf? Cute. Thank you.
- Peaches. You gave me two great hugs. Thank you. (twice.)
- Strawberry. You're not always the best evalutor of talent, but I cannot ever say I don't mind talking to you in our 20-second clips. Thank you.
- Sis. I came in tonight and read your e-mail. You have redefined the Tuesday lunch. Thank you.
Jackets won 4-3.
- Art McGregor
- McGinley. You get it. I know that doesn't sound like much. But really, you get it. Thank you.
- The Godfather. You didn't have to come out tonight. Thank you.
- mistertrendy. You are such a good friend. Thank you.
- McCampus. You said it all. "Really? Ol' scraggily beard over there in the corner of the bar? No! I almost wanted to go buy him a drink. I felt embarassed for him." Thank you.
(SIDE NOTE: McCampus and I came back here and rocked out to about a half can of GRIZZLY tobacco and he just texted me: "Grizzly State".)
- the Truth. I love that you told me you were wearing Ben Gay patches. Thank you.
- Hoodie. I like seeing you. I don't know what I mean with that, but when I see you, it's always a good time. We had about four text message exchanges tonight where we were talking about different things. Thank you.
- Hurricane. A call from the 919 eliminates most everything shitty. Thank you.
- NJ Attorney Girl. I had a rough weekend. Seeing you tonight in the scarf? Cute. Thank you.
- Peaches. You gave me two great hugs. Thank you. (twice.)
- Strawberry. You're not always the best evalutor of talent, but I cannot ever say I don't mind talking to you in our 20-second clips. Thank you.
- Sis. I came in tonight and read your e-mail. You have redefined the Tuesday lunch. Thank you.
Jackets won 4-3.
- Art McGregor
Monday, December 18, 2006
- How soon is too soon? You know. I just got back from a work meeting and I was laughing, joking around, and feeling pretty good. Should I be? Yes, I should be.
That's the one thing (the only thing) I love about this whole situation. My grandma would have wanted me to be exactly like this. I don't have to "fake feel" anything. I feel bad everytime I think about her passing, and I will miss seeing her every time I go home and all that stuff ... the natural parts of pain through death ... but I also know I cherished every moment we spent together not because I made a concious effort to do so. It was easy being around her. I liked being around her.
The whole thing has taught me a lot and given me a whole bunch more of perspective.
It's never easy to grieve, nor should it ever be difficult to be around loved ones.
- Can't wait for the hockey game tonight. Should be some good times.
- I will be headed back to Y-town on Wednesday night for calling hours and then the funeral Thursday morning. More sadness ensues, but ... yeah ...
- Thanks all the text messages, calls and e-mails. You know you don't have to, but it's still nice to see.
- Art McGregor
That's the one thing (the only thing) I love about this whole situation. My grandma would have wanted me to be exactly like this. I don't have to "fake feel" anything. I feel bad everytime I think about her passing, and I will miss seeing her every time I go home and all that stuff ... the natural parts of pain through death ... but I also know I cherished every moment we spent together not because I made a concious effort to do so. It was easy being around her. I liked being around her.
The whole thing has taught me a lot and given me a whole bunch more of perspective.
It's never easy to grieve, nor should it ever be difficult to be around loved ones.
- Can't wait for the hockey game tonight. Should be some good times.
- I will be headed back to Y-town on Wednesday night for calling hours and then the funeral Thursday morning. More sadness ensues, but ... yeah ...
- Thanks all the text messages, calls and e-mails. You know you don't have to, but it's still nice to see.
- Art McGregor
Sunday, December 17, 2006
LOVE IS WATCHING SOMEONE DIE
The silhouette of sadness hanging in the rear-view mirror shadowed aptly the mood in the car.
“I just can't believe a group like Guns N' Roses would ever have to break up,” mistertrendy said.
I agreed.
A day (a day by calendar standards only) prior, I had driven north on the same construction-riddled patch of pavement back to Youngstown, Ohio.
My sister kept asking me to talk about myself.
“Come on [Art McGregor], tell me anything about last night,” she said. “Just take my mind off things.”
Waking up that morning to a phone call from her, I rushed into the shower and began readying myself for an impromptu trip home.
“Grandma's in a coma,” missestrendy told me. “I'm on my way home from work. We need to go home.”
My grandma had fell on Thursday, hitting her head on the fall. She fell into a coma on Friday and the internal bleeding in her head ...
She was 75.
I kept cool driving home and comforted my sister.
“[missestrendy], gram was old,” I said, half believing the words from my mouth. “What a wonderful life she has lived. Think of all the time we've spent with her. We were extremely close with her. We experienced every Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthday, Browns loss in the AFC Championship game with her. She is going to a better place.”
I felt awful. I didn't want to see my grandma die but also hated seeing another loved one cry in the passenger seat next to me. The 186-mile trip lasted that long in light years.
I made missestrendy laugh with my own fables from a night past.
“Some old chick hit on The Mayor, mistertrendy and me,” I told her.
“Oh my God, this girl [Sis] came in with with gorgeous. Dude, it was outstanding,” I said. “I think she has a boyfriend or something but ...” and I shrugged my shoulders. We laughed.
“I almost got into a car with them, but, dude, I saw what was going on in that car and I'm not going to try for the three-on-one fast-break,” I said. missestrendy didn't know what I meant. Neither did I.
The laughter last about five miles and then I began to cry.
“The last thing I ever talked to Gram about was Evan,” I told missestrendy. “She was telling me about how smart he is and how funny he is and how he's always getting into trouble but she was laughing. And I know,” I continued, “she used to day the same about me.”
She did until her dying die. My grandma is the only grandparent I ever really had. My dad's two parents died long before I was born and my grandpa died when I was in kindergarten and I remember only little things about him.
“OK, we'll play Star Wars,” he told me. “But I get to be Luke Skywalker.”
I cried.
“I wouldn't trade Gram for four other grandparents,” I said through some tears to my sister.
I wrote for the college newspaper. I penned somewhere between 100 and 150 columns for the publication and mentioned my grandmother more than anyone in my family. I still send her clips of my work all the time.
She sent me a birthday card on my birthday.
“Dear Grand-son [Art],
Happy Birthday!
Have no real idea of the age ... 27-28-29?
Hope to see you at Christmas
Love,
Gram”
and it came to me then
that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time
Has no idea the real age? Man, have no idea how she'd ever come to that conclusion.
I told her that when we talked on Wednesday. She laughed. I loved her laugh.
Near the end of the trip to the hospital, we were in good spirits.
“It'll be nice to see everyone,” I said. “What a great celebration of her life.”
I walked into the hospital and saw my mom outside smoking a cigarette. She cried.
Without a cigarette, I knew I'd match her in tears in a few minutes.
I walked into the waiting room and saw my uncle Gary crying. My uncle Gary played football in college and looks like he still can. He'll probably always epitomize the concept of cool to me.
My uncle Ray looked in shock. My aunt Colleen cried. So did the other 15 people milling about in the waiting room.
as i stared at my shoes in the ICU
that reeked of piss and 409
and i rationed my breaths as i said to myself
that 'i'd already taken too much today'
I took a deep breath and cried. I went in and saw my grandma with my sister and my mom.
“We love you Gram,” my sister said. “We love you.”
I couldn't say a word. I bent down to kiss her bare hand and shook my head.
as each descending peep on the LCD
took you a little farther away from me
I went outside and cried. I realized how life is toughest in death.
I cried and hugged, sometimes not in that order, for the remainder of the afternoon.
My uncle Mike shed some tears but looked tough. He played football in college too.
We found a long-time friend of the family, a priest and he performed the anointing of the sick. Never had I been more sad. Exiting the room, I wanted to say something to my grandmother.
I knew it was good-bye but didn't know how to say it.
“I love you, Grandma,” I said. “You did so much for me.”
I know she heard me.
away from me
I am not a carpe diem type of guy. Anyone who knows me knows I prefer the carpe noctem approach to life, anyway.
Her death early Sunday morning will not change the way I will go about my daily life. I will not take note in sunny days and I won't be more patient in traffic. I won't offer more of my time to charity and I won't be more kind to others.
I will, however, make sure to cherish and hold fast to the good times in my life. I will savor every opportunity I get to have fun and laugh and smile and be with loved ones.
Life is toughest in death. These days coming to grips with your grandmother dying unexpectedly are not fun. It's also not the last one I'll ever have to face. Parents will die, siblings will pass away, cousins and best friends will be laid to rest.
We deal with our own fair amount of tough times.
Spend little time preparing for those. It does you no good. Instead, enjoy throughly the wonderful lives and moments in your own life.
Cherish fun.
I spent Saturday with my family and friends. mistertrendy stuck close to my sister and gained a lot of respect from me. I text messaged McGinley early in the day and he sent my well-timed well-wishes throughout the day.
amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines
in a place where we only say goodbye
it's done like a violent wind that our memories depend
on a faulty camera in our minds
We knew all day that she'd eventually pass away. My grandmother's daughter, my aunt Maureen, is the star of this Christmas play back in Youngstown. It's been going on for about 15 years now. There are four performances each year in an-almost-always sold-out Powers Auditorium. With 15 times four equaling 60, my grandmother had been to 60 shows in the past 15 years.
We went on Saturday night amongst 3,000 other spectators and laughed and cried throughout the play. Maureen called me on stage midway through to sing some songs with her and some young kids.
My cousin Mickey, 12, working backstage called me over.
“Little [Art],” he said. “One of the dancers wants to meet you.”
My grandmother laying on her death bed, I began talking to this female dancer. She is a sophomore at Ohio State and lives in a stoney sorority house on 16th and Indianola.
On any Friday night, it'd take my mind off life for three to 11 hours. I took my mind off sadness for about 10 seconds on Saturday night.
We went back to the hospital after the show and hung out with family. All eight of my grandmother's kids were there and there children, children's children, etc. Cousins, aunts, uncles, other members. We took over the second floor of the hospital. We laughed, we cried, we were McGregor's.
and i knew that you were a truth
i would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all
and i looked around at all the eyes on the ground
as the tv entertained itself
I learned how different people deal with tragedy differently. Some want space, some want to hug. I cried earlier in the day then wanted to have some space and then wanted to be a rock.
My little cousin Evan, 6, took the news hard.
“Gram can't die,” he said. “I didn't even get to say goodbye.”
We went home around 1:30 a.m. and I fell asleep shortly after.
cos there's no comfort in the waiting room
just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
then the nurse comes round and everyone lifts their head
but i'm thinking of what sarah said,
that 'love is watching someone die'
“Gram died,” my dad told me this morning at 8:18 a.m.
I don't remember much of today. I wrote my grandmother's obituary, never putting more time or thought into anything else and mistertrendy later brought me back to the German Village this evening. We laughed a little and began to get some semblance of normality back in my life. But for a long time, I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to say it. I had nothing left.
We listened to Guns N' Roses and I was glad to hear this song called "Estranged." It'd probably be the last song that would ever remind me of my grandmother.
All throughout the weekend, it was "What Sarah Said" by Death Cab for Cutie. The song almost to the T describes my Saturday. I recommend to anyone to listen to it at least twice.
So trendy and I are driving back and I'm singing along with Axl ...
“I'm out here on my own, and drifting all alone
If it doesn't show give it time
To read between the lines
'Cause I see the storm getting closer
And the waves they get so high
Seems everything we've ever known's here
Why must it drift away and die
I'll never find anyone to replace you
Guess I'll have to make it thru, this time
Oh this time
Without you
I knew the storm was getting closer
And all my friends said I was high
But everything we've ever known's here
I never wanted it to die”
I love you, Grandma. You did so much for me.
- Your grandson
RING IN THE NEW YEAR GVM STYLE
Maffick with Three Wise Men
We all know the Bible story from the book of Matthew. After Jesus was born, three kings bearing gifts went searching for him.
These men -- a swimmer, a lifter and runner -- had seen an unusual new star in the sky and knew that it told of the birth of a special king...Troy Ginn.
They followed the direction of the star and eventually found the place where German Village Media was staying. To honor Troy Ginn, they brought rich gifts: beer, appetizers and plenty of Mrrrr.
Please join the three kings -- McGinley, McCoffee Chugger and The Mayor -- for a NYE Celebration starting around 8:00 PM at Jimmy Smurfs (aka Jimmy V's Grill and Pub) in German Village on December 31, 2006.
For those of you who have known us for awhile, it is an old tradition with a new twist. For those of you who have just come to know us, it is tradition reborn.
Either way, it is guaranteed not to suck.
- The Mayor
Maffick with Three Wise Men
We all know the Bible story from the book of Matthew. After Jesus was born, three kings bearing gifts went searching for him.
These men -- a swimmer, a lifter and runner -- had seen an unusual new star in the sky and knew that it told of the birth of a special king...Troy Ginn.
They followed the direction of the star and eventually found the place where German Village Media was staying. To honor Troy Ginn, they brought rich gifts: beer, appetizers and plenty of Mrrrr.
Please join the three kings -- McGinley, McCoffee Chugger and The Mayor -- for a NYE Celebration starting around 8:00 PM at Jimmy Smurfs (aka Jimmy V's Grill and Pub) in German Village on December 31, 2006.
For those of you who have known us for awhile, it is an old tradition with a new twist. For those of you who have just come to know us, it is tradition reborn.
Either way, it is guaranteed not to suck.
- The Mayor
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Travel nightmare
McGinley was supposed to depart CMH the morning after McGregor's birthday bash at 930. After informing all that he would be "at the CaveBear by 630", he went home and slept until 8:22. Hurredly, he rushed to the airport (he had already packed - thank God) and confronted a VERY long line at the US Airways counter. For those of you who were not aware, US Airways is the single worst run corporation in the history of the world. They simply CANNOT get their shit together . . . and they do not give a fuck.
Because of about 8 cancelled flights, the line was incredibly long. I got in the Dividend Miles line, considerably shorter. Some bitch looked at me and said "Well aren't you special?" I acted as though she did not exist, yet she persisted, believeing that I was cutting in line ahead of about 100 non Dividend Miles customers. "Excuse me, the line starts down there," she mooed, pointing in the direction of Whitehall. "I'm not in this line. I'm in that fucking line," I snapped back.
"Well you don't have to swear at me!" she blathered. "Thanks mom," I said.
So my flight was in fact cancelled and I get put on some connector through Pittsburgh. "Don't get on that plane," I thought, knowing I'd get waylayed in the Iron City, instead of just going home. So I go to the ONE gate that all US Airways flights were leaving out of and there, of course, is no information about my flight. SO I wait in a long-ass line and finally get to the brain-dead Customer, er . . . Service (?) rep and ask, "Can you tell me what the status of this Pittsburgh flight is?"
"No I can't, sir," she said.
"Well can you try?" I implore.
"I don't know nothin' about no Pittsburgh flight," she said.
I then lost it.
I don't need to insist that this story is true because a friend of McLmited called him at work and said "Hey, is your friend McGinley at the airport right now? I think I see him and he's yelling at someone." Said friend then held the phone up so McLimited could hear me yell, swear, and yell some more.
Guess what? The fucking flight from Pittsburgh to DC got cancelled about 3 different times. No one even tried to give an explaniation or get me on another flight. I was so pissed I couldn't see straight . . . until McLimited called me and told me the story.
So DC happens, and it was marvelous. Then I tried to get home on my 5:15 flight last night. After lies, cancellations, refusals to anser questions, or attempt to help anyone, a head fake at 6:30, and a plane switch, I got home at 11pm. Needless to say, I will NEVER . . .EVER fly US Dare again. Under any circumstances. If my choices are US Air, or walk there, get me my hikin' boots, brother. It got so bad last night that some scared Hillbilly got the airport police called on her. She was way out of line, but the absolute refusal to offer any kind of help or information whatsoever DEFINITELY fueled the fire. They suck.
In other news, Sleepy went back to DC. Gotta admit to being a little sad about that. He's one of the genuine good guys. Lots of DC-ers come to their respective districts thinking they know better than the locals and piss a lot of people off. Not to be pejorative, but the truth of the matter is that, other than what goes on in Roll Call, most DC folks know as much about how to win a campaign as I do about sewing. In otherwords, nothing.
Sleepy is very smart, and knew a lot, but was smart enough to never come off that way to the people who've invested 14 years of their lives in his candidate. He was smart enough to ask questions that he knew the answers to. He so incredibly out-performed the rest of the folks that were sent in from the District, that it's obvious why was the choice, and why is is successful at what he does.
My favorite Sleepy moments were telling him that it's OK to know you're good at what you do - That's not arrogance - and when he gave me the list of people he trusted. An extremely short list it was, and I was proud to be on it. He also deflected praise at the end, offering it to almost everyone else. Sound familiar?
He was also unselfishly there for me on two of my darker days, fit right in with our group, and worked as hard as anyone. Thanks bro, you're a real pro. You deserve your success, and you have a welcome invitation here anytime. I know I speak for all of us when I say that.
Switching gears, last night I heard a couple of things that made me mad. This morning I heard one that made me sad. Hang in there Art. We love you and are here for you.
- McGinley
McGinley was supposed to depart CMH the morning after McGregor's birthday bash at 930. After informing all that he would be "at the CaveBear by 630", he went home and slept until 8:22. Hurredly, he rushed to the airport (he had already packed - thank God) and confronted a VERY long line at the US Airways counter. For those of you who were not aware, US Airways is the single worst run corporation in the history of the world. They simply CANNOT get their shit together . . . and they do not give a fuck.
Because of about 8 cancelled flights, the line was incredibly long. I got in the Dividend Miles line, considerably shorter. Some bitch looked at me and said "Well aren't you special?" I acted as though she did not exist, yet she persisted, believeing that I was cutting in line ahead of about 100 non Dividend Miles customers. "Excuse me, the line starts down there," she mooed, pointing in the direction of Whitehall. "I'm not in this line. I'm in that fucking line," I snapped back.
"Well you don't have to swear at me!" she blathered. "Thanks mom," I said.
So my flight was in fact cancelled and I get put on some connector through Pittsburgh. "Don't get on that plane," I thought, knowing I'd get waylayed in the Iron City, instead of just going home. So I go to the ONE gate that all US Airways flights were leaving out of and there, of course, is no information about my flight. SO I wait in a long-ass line and finally get to the brain-dead Customer, er . . . Service (?) rep and ask, "Can you tell me what the status of this Pittsburgh flight is?"
"No I can't, sir," she said.
"Well can you try?" I implore.
"I don't know nothin' about no Pittsburgh flight," she said.
I then lost it.
I don't need to insist that this story is true because a friend of McLmited called him at work and said "Hey, is your friend McGinley at the airport right now? I think I see him and he's yelling at someone." Said friend then held the phone up so McLimited could hear me yell, swear, and yell some more.
Guess what? The fucking flight from Pittsburgh to DC got cancelled about 3 different times. No one even tried to give an explaniation or get me on another flight. I was so pissed I couldn't see straight . . . until McLimited called me and told me the story.
So DC happens, and it was marvelous. Then I tried to get home on my 5:15 flight last night. After lies, cancellations, refusals to anser questions, or attempt to help anyone, a head fake at 6:30, and a plane switch, I got home at 11pm. Needless to say, I will NEVER . . .EVER fly US Dare again. Under any circumstances. If my choices are US Air, or walk there, get me my hikin' boots, brother. It got so bad last night that some scared Hillbilly got the airport police called on her. She was way out of line, but the absolute refusal to offer any kind of help or information whatsoever DEFINITELY fueled the fire. They suck.
In other news, Sleepy went back to DC. Gotta admit to being a little sad about that. He's one of the genuine good guys. Lots of DC-ers come to their respective districts thinking they know better than the locals and piss a lot of people off. Not to be pejorative, but the truth of the matter is that, other than what goes on in Roll Call, most DC folks know as much about how to win a campaign as I do about sewing. In otherwords, nothing.
Sleepy is very smart, and knew a lot, but was smart enough to never come off that way to the people who've invested 14 years of their lives in his candidate. He was smart enough to ask questions that he knew the answers to. He so incredibly out-performed the rest of the folks that were sent in from the District, that it's obvious why was the choice, and why is is successful at what he does.
My favorite Sleepy moments were telling him that it's OK to know you're good at what you do - That's not arrogance - and when he gave me the list of people he trusted. An extremely short list it was, and I was proud to be on it. He also deflected praise at the end, offering it to almost everyone else. Sound familiar?
He was also unselfishly there for me on two of my darker days, fit right in with our group, and worked as hard as anyone. Thanks bro, you're a real pro. You deserve your success, and you have a welcome invitation here anytime. I know I speak for all of us when I say that.
Switching gears, last night I heard a couple of things that made me mad. This morning I heard one that made me sad. Hang in there Art. We love you and are here for you.
- McGinley
Friday, December 15, 2006
- The best thing about 20 year olds? Half of them are really 16. That said, just got back from Easton with The Mayor and it was quite a treat. I didn't bring anything home with me (damnit), but bought a sweater/scarf that I'll be wearing out tonight.
- I've heard of some drama related to all things blog. For anyone reading this that may be offended by its content, we apologize. For whatever this thing is, it's basically a diary of our lives and continued - in the words of McGinley - dumbfuckery.
We never make fun of people or go negative. That's the truth. And really, I'm only going to poke fun at people I don't know. Because if I knew them, they'd kick my ass.
- Back to Easton, if annoxeria were contagious, the world would be a far better place.
- Talked to a few of the footballers at Buckeye State earlier today and we'll say this, they are going to kick the shit out of Florida come Glendale. It's a focus you can't believe.
One of the fellas in Scarlet and Grey commented on how nice Art's shirt was and Tedd Ginn (no relation to Troy Ginn), said he'd love to play for the Browns.
It's going to be a Buckeye State win by at least three scores.
- There was more talent at Easton, however. I usually am not a fan of attractive girls who rock sweatpants out in public ("shut up and be hot," as I like to say) but some of these bitty's were just ... phew ...
Even saw a few [Slo-Pitch] luminaries and we exchanged awkward hellos.
- Speaking of, Sleepy is away. That's just sad. The average height of our posse goes south of the six-foot line. I'll let McGinley or whoever else pay their final respects to Kansas City's finest, but I'm sure our paths (if not swords) will cross again.
- Love that Groupie referenced Arrested Development in a comment below. I almost bought Season 3 on DVD earlier today but had to cross over Morse Road to get to Best Buy, and yeah, too hard.
That said, I'm out like the proverbial renob in sweatpants.
Nah, just kidding. But I couldn't let that opening go without hammering it home.
(Brushing my shoulders off.)
- What a long week. I need the weekend to unwind and cool off. Probably going to go and take a nap, watch The OC from last night and grab some dinner with the trendys.
- Promiscuous [The Godfather] is out of town this weekend and that's not good. That's not good for anyone.
- Can't wait to see Groupie out this evening on Birthday Night and for everyone else attending Beer State with us tonight ... class is in session.
- Art McGregor
- I've heard of some drama related to all things blog. For anyone reading this that may be offended by its content, we apologize. For whatever this thing is, it's basically a diary of our lives and continued - in the words of McGinley - dumbfuckery.
We never make fun of people or go negative. That's the truth. And really, I'm only going to poke fun at people I don't know. Because if I knew them, they'd kick my ass.
- Back to Easton, if annoxeria were contagious, the world would be a far better place.
- Talked to a few of the footballers at Buckeye State earlier today and we'll say this, they are going to kick the shit out of Florida come Glendale. It's a focus you can't believe.
One of the fellas in Scarlet and Grey commented on how nice Art's shirt was and Tedd Ginn (no relation to Troy Ginn), said he'd love to play for the Browns.
It's going to be a Buckeye State win by at least three scores.
- There was more talent at Easton, however. I usually am not a fan of attractive girls who rock sweatpants out in public ("shut up and be hot," as I like to say) but some of these bitty's were just ... phew ...
Even saw a few [Slo-Pitch] luminaries and we exchanged awkward hellos.
- Speaking of, Sleepy is away. That's just sad. The average height of our posse goes south of the six-foot line. I'll let McGinley or whoever else pay their final respects to Kansas City's finest, but I'm sure our paths (if not swords) will cross again.
- Love that Groupie referenced Arrested Development in a comment below. I almost bought Season 3 on DVD earlier today but had to cross over Morse Road to get to Best Buy, and yeah, too hard.
That said, I'm out like the proverbial renob in sweatpants.
Nah, just kidding. But I couldn't let that opening go without hammering it home.
(Brushing my shoulders off.)
- What a long week. I need the weekend to unwind and cool off. Probably going to go and take a nap, watch The OC from last night and grab some dinner with the trendys.
- Promiscuous [The Godfather] is out of town this weekend and that's not good. That's not good for anyone.
- Can't wait to see Groupie out this evening on Birthday Night and for everyone else attending Beer State with us tonight ... class is in session.
- Art McGregor
On this fifth Friday of the week, there are a lot of questions I need to start asking myself, but for now, I'll just settle for the ones that can be answered in a text message and go like, "Off to [Matt Mayle's]" and "[Slo-Pitch] around 11:30."
Pretty rocktacular evening. The Godfather and I said we were going home at 11:30 p.m. I needed a night off. Well ...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GROUPIE. It's birthday week at German Village Media.
TODAY - Groupie
TOMORROW - TD Hoodie (he's bringing Hoodies back)
MONDAY - Non-Jewish Attorney Girl
Off to Buckeye Stadium for work, but the All-American Team will be announced today.
- Art McGregor
Pretty rocktacular evening. The Godfather and I said we were going home at 11:30 p.m. I needed a night off. Well ...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GROUPIE. It's birthday week at German Village Media.
TODAY - Groupie
TOMORROW - TD Hoodie (he's bringing Hoodies back)
MONDAY - Non-Jewish Attorney Girl
Off to Buckeye Stadium for work, but the All-American Team will be announced today.
- Art McGregor
Thursday, December 14, 2006
- Huge ups to the folks over at McStreaky Enterprises for putting together that flyer for the triple M NYE celebration at Jimmy Smurf's.
- Uncomfirmed reports are swirling that The Mayor shed tears of joy during last night's celebration.
We're still having fun, and you're still the one!
- Staff reports
- Uncomfirmed reports are swirling that The Mayor shed tears of joy during last night's celebration.
We're still having fun, and you're still the one!
- Staff reports
I think there's something you should know
I think it's time I told you so
I'm a huge George Michael fan.
I'd put "Praying for Time" against any song. Ever.
Anyway, this is a fantastic video. Probably the hottest of all time.
It's tough to believe he didn't come out until 10 years after this song's release. With this whole lyric and such:
When I knew which side my bread was buttered
I took the knife as well
Also, Christy Turlington should be mentioned in all lists of the top five hottest women ever.
- Art ... nope ... McGinley would beat my ass ... Staff reports
I think it's time I told you so
I'm a huge George Michael fan.
I'd put "Praying for Time" against any song. Ever.
Anyway, this is a fantastic video. Probably the hottest of all time.
It's tough to believe he didn't come out until 10 years after this song's release. With this whole lyric and such:
When I knew which side my bread was buttered
I took the knife as well
Also, Christy Turlington should be mentioned in all lists of the top five hottest women ever.
- Art ... nope ... McGinley would beat my ass ... Staff reports
Notes from last night:
- The generosity of McGinley and The Mayor is overwhelming. I honestly, seriously, cannot thank those two guys enough.
- That may have been the drunkest I've ever been. (Still was a trooper and woke up at 12:40 p.m. today.)
- Seeing The Godfather go crazy to Orson's No Tomorrow is my first memory of being [23].
- Fucking outstanding that mistertrendy stayed out ridiculously late for the second time in three nights.
- Contraband, baby, hurry down the chimney tonight. We played the Christmas album in The Slo-Pitch 1961 Tavern and the place went nuts. But whatever, keep banning it.
- Peaches and TD Hoodie are ... beyond nice. We're all lucky to know those two. Thanks for the cake, wow, I haven't had a birthday cake in about 10 years. The birthday wish didn't come true, but hey, you two did your part.
- Sunday and I bonded at the bar. Can't say I minded that too much, entirely.
- the Truth asked, "wait, how many cards does each person get for each of their birthdays per year?" (Read that again. You'll laugh.)
- I had a lip-to-lip kiss with a non-relative male for the first time.
- Hurricane called me. That also did not make me mad. We talked for a few minutes. She talked about doing school work. That also did not make me mad.
- the Truth also is going to a Christmas party beginning at 5 p.m. today at Brothers. "Going to just drink beers and not do Jaegerbombs until 7:30 p.m," he said.
Better get another tube of that wrinkle cream ready there, pal.
- Saw the Neighbor and did not hear her laugh.
- Talked with Esq. (Courtney Love) about a number of topics. She told me I'd make a very pretty girl. Talked about my nice features. Nice. Good cheekbones? Check. Nice nose? Check. That was about it.
- I had a lip-to-lip kiss with a non-relative male for the first time.
Wait, I already said that.
- I cannot remember one article of clothing anyone wore last night.
- I have at least one fond memory of everyone there last night.
See you tonight.
NFL Network time?
- Art McGregor
- The generosity of McGinley and The Mayor is overwhelming. I honestly, seriously, cannot thank those two guys enough.
- That may have been the drunkest I've ever been. (Still was a trooper and woke up at 12:40 p.m. today.)
- Seeing The Godfather go crazy to Orson's No Tomorrow is my first memory of being [23].
- Fucking outstanding that mistertrendy stayed out ridiculously late for the second time in three nights.
- Contraband, baby, hurry down the chimney tonight. We played the Christmas album in The Slo-Pitch 1961 Tavern and the place went nuts. But whatever, keep banning it.
- Peaches and TD Hoodie are ... beyond nice. We're all lucky to know those two. Thanks for the cake, wow, I haven't had a birthday cake in about 10 years. The birthday wish didn't come true, but hey, you two did your part.
- Sunday and I bonded at the bar. Can't say I minded that too much, entirely.
- the Truth asked, "wait, how many cards does each person get for each of their birthdays per year?" (Read that again. You'll laugh.)
- I had a lip-to-lip kiss with a non-relative male for the first time.
- Hurricane called me. That also did not make me mad. We talked for a few minutes. She talked about doing school work. That also did not make me mad.
- the Truth also is going to a Christmas party beginning at 5 p.m. today at Brothers. "Going to just drink beers and not do Jaegerbombs until 7:30 p.m," he said.
Better get another tube of that wrinkle cream ready there, pal.
- Saw the Neighbor and did not hear her laugh.
- Talked with Esq. (Courtney Love) about a number of topics. She told me I'd make a very pretty girl. Talked about my nice features. Nice. Good cheekbones? Check. Nice nose? Check. That was about it.
- I had a lip-to-lip kiss with a non-relative male for the first time.
Wait, I already said that.
- I cannot remember one article of clothing anyone wore last night.
- I have at least one fond memory of everyone there last night.
See you tonight.
NFL Network time?
- Art McGregor
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
ART IS NOT GOOD AT BEING SENTIMENTAL
Tried finding the words for it last night but they didn't come out. Imagine that.
I have been both fortunate and unfortunate enough to live in a number of different places. I've moved five or six different times in my life and each time presented challenges.
The McGregor family is a big one. I have about 30 first cousins. Six of them are named Michael. The rest are Patrick's.
I left my hometown of Youngstown, Ohio in September 1988. That's always the best time to move a few hundred miles away from home. The week before fourth grade.
I guess that's when I was born. I moved to Baltimore (Devil Town) and was forced to meet new people and develop a personality, sense of humor and general likeability. Kids were always amazed I knew who lost Super Bowl II (Oakland) and how many Heisman Trophy winners went to Notre Dame (seven).
When I left Baltimore before eighth grade to return to Ohio, I had to meet a whole 'nother set of friends. I met mistertrendy and we've been best friends ever since. The next year, I went to a public school for the first time and met a whole 'nother set of friends. College. Ashland, Ohio. Key West, Fla. Columbus. German Village. Constant movement.
Meeting all these new and different people has afforded me, what I feel, is such a unique outlook on life. McGinley summed it up very well in his moving post. For someone who almost exclusively spends all his time wasting time, I really don't waste any time.
Bottom line is this. I remember laying in bed crying back in 1988 listening to "Eternal Flame" by the Bangles and missing all my friends back home in Ohio. But I told myself even then, that this move would be the best for me. It'd force me to talk more often, to get out there and meet new people.
This all makes more sense in my head.
Anyway, meandering enough, I was fooling myself. I never needed those experiences. I never needed to develop a personality that would help me later on in life because when I moved to the German Village, I met the most amazing group of people. You'd have to be an idiot to not want to fit in with these people and enjoy their company.
That's also what I love about this blog. Even if you don't know us and all the nicknames and inside jokes, I hope you come away with it with an understanding of friendship. And what it's like to fully enjoy life and growing up and learning things and being happy.
More to come later. I'm being flooded with text messages and must think up witty responses.
- Art McGregor
PS - This is my worst post ever, but whatever. They might take away the Archdiocese of Baltimore Creative Writing Contest I won back to back in 1989 (poem about drunk driving) and 1990 (five things I'd put in a time capsule ... piece of Berlin Wall, etc.).
For a long time that was my proudest accomplishment. For a longer time, it was my only accomplishment.
Tried finding the words for it last night but they didn't come out. Imagine that.
I have been both fortunate and unfortunate enough to live in a number of different places. I've moved five or six different times in my life and each time presented challenges.
The McGregor family is a big one. I have about 30 first cousins. Six of them are named Michael. The rest are Patrick's.
I left my hometown of Youngstown, Ohio in September 1988. That's always the best time to move a few hundred miles away from home. The week before fourth grade.
I guess that's when I was born. I moved to Baltimore (Devil Town) and was forced to meet new people and develop a personality, sense of humor and general likeability. Kids were always amazed I knew who lost Super Bowl II (Oakland) and how many Heisman Trophy winners went to Notre Dame (seven).
When I left Baltimore before eighth grade to return to Ohio, I had to meet a whole 'nother set of friends. I met mistertrendy and we've been best friends ever since. The next year, I went to a public school for the first time and met a whole 'nother set of friends. College. Ashland, Ohio. Key West, Fla. Columbus. German Village. Constant movement.
Meeting all these new and different people has afforded me, what I feel, is such a unique outlook on life. McGinley summed it up very well in his moving post. For someone who almost exclusively spends all his time wasting time, I really don't waste any time.
Bottom line is this. I remember laying in bed crying back in 1988 listening to "Eternal Flame" by the Bangles and missing all my friends back home in Ohio. But I told myself even then, that this move would be the best for me. It'd force me to talk more often, to get out there and meet new people.
This all makes more sense in my head.
Anyway, meandering enough, I was fooling myself. I never needed those experiences. I never needed to develop a personality that would help me later on in life because when I moved to the German Village, I met the most amazing group of people. You'd have to be an idiot to not want to fit in with these people and enjoy their company.
That's also what I love about this blog. Even if you don't know us and all the nicknames and inside jokes, I hope you come away with it with an understanding of friendship. And what it's like to fully enjoy life and growing up and learning things and being happy.
More to come later. I'm being flooded with text messages and must think up witty responses.
- Art McGregor
PS - This is my worst post ever, but whatever. They might take away the Archdiocese of Baltimore Creative Writing Contest I won back to back in 1989 (poem about drunk driving) and 1990 (five things I'd put in a time capsule ... piece of Berlin Wall, etc.).
For a long time that was my proudest accomplishment. For a longer time, it was my only accomplishment.
We all know that U2 fans can be real annoying. They seem to want to think that that the band "means" something more than they really do. They also want to elevate Bono to some sort of Saint status, and make excuses for their lackluster (terrible) albums, like Zooropa, and tend to make you sick of them within minutes.
But U2 is still a fucking great band. This was the point I was going to try to make to the Groupie last night, but he began talking about music as though he were me. He said things like "I think Beggar's Banquet is the greatest album of all time" and "The Beatles and Stones are the two best bands of all time". Now I know he reads the blog, and I realize he is a highly paid lobbyist, trained in the arts of getting people to buy into his bullcrap, and he could very well have been expertly snowing my drunk ass - but I hugged him.
We discussed the merits of Nirvana and he said "Nirvana changed music, at a time when music really needed it." It was like he was pulling thoughts directly out of my brain. He went on to extol the virtues of Hendrix, Dylan, Zeppelin, and the aformentioned U2.
See? A rational U2 fan. They're tough to come across. Anyway, here's U2's ten best songs:
10. Two Hearts Beat as One
9. Angel of Harlem
8. The Sweetest Thing
7. One
6. A Sort of Homecoming
5. Mysterious Ways
4. Stay (Far away/So Close)
3. Gloria
2. Bad
1. The Unforgettable Fire
Nice work, Groupie the Greek. I look forward to the CD's your burning for me.
- McGinley
But U2 is still a fucking great band. This was the point I was going to try to make to the Groupie last night, but he began talking about music as though he were me. He said things like "I think Beggar's Banquet is the greatest album of all time" and "The Beatles and Stones are the two best bands of all time". Now I know he reads the blog, and I realize he is a highly paid lobbyist, trained in the arts of getting people to buy into his bullcrap, and he could very well have been expertly snowing my drunk ass - but I hugged him.
We discussed the merits of Nirvana and he said "Nirvana changed music, at a time when music really needed it." It was like he was pulling thoughts directly out of my brain. He went on to extol the virtues of Hendrix, Dylan, Zeppelin, and the aformentioned U2.
See? A rational U2 fan. They're tough to come across. Anyway, here's U2's ten best songs:
10. Two Hearts Beat as One
9. Angel of Harlem
8. The Sweetest Thing
7. One
6. A Sort of Homecoming
5. Mysterious Ways
4. Stay (Far away/So Close)
3. Gloria
2. Bad
1. The Unforgettable Fire
Nice work, Groupie the Greek. I look forward to the CD's your burning for me.
- McGinley
Still the One
There are two approaches to contesting election results, the Liberal way and the Conservative way.
And guess what? She lost.
Then they recounted, and she lost again.
Then they recounted the recount and she still lost.
On the other side of the recount coin is the tale of The Mayor.
As pundits across the
Despite an eight-month censure at the hands of Speaker Shockey and The Slo-Pitch Assembly (TS-PA), he will not be impeached. The results are in and The Mayor is staying in office.
Home for the Holidays, indeed, he’s still the one.
Rolling back-to-back posts here, The Godfather will have a post shortly.
Few notes from last night, today:
- Birthday Celebration Night No. 3 will be the last of the celebrations. We'll still go out and be crazy for the reminder of the weekend ... but tomorrow is just a Thursday and then TD Hoodiestock begins Friday night. I pass the torch.
- I am still perplexed why they didn't play our CD last night. Really odd. Good tunes on there ... "Fairytale of New York" ... "2,000 Miles" ... "Wonderful Christmastime" ... etc. Oh well.
- The GVM All-American Team will be announced tomorrow. Don't have it in me today.
- What a great birthday.
- Art McGregor
A little over a year ago, pre-ban at the SloPitch, I used to hold court, fat, unhappy, and consuming way too much alcohol and sport. That was pretty much my routine every night for about 5 years. I saw the place through good and bad times, cycled through . . .well every employee they had, and got along with most of them.
One day in that about-a-year-ago timeframe, I believe while watching an OSU basketball game, I began to notice an impish figure increasingly entering the picture. I didn't really know him, but he seemed to know a lot of people I knew, and could wax eloquent on the finer things Buckeye. Eventually, these kinds of conversations would lead to McGinley-style drunken challenges like "Name the 1983 Baltimore Orioles starting nine. Go!" (Murray, Sakata, Ripken, Decinces, Bumbry, Lowenstein, Singleton, Dempsey - incidentally off the top of my head) and of all the blokes who would have said gauntlet thrown before them, this little leprechaun was by far the best at answering the obscure.
I took a shine to this one. We started hanging out. A few weeks later I inquired about his name. Skipping way ahead, he'd come up with a crazy idea to begin documenting our shenanigans, and a movement was born, which would change the way we looked at the four most important things in life (wine, women, song, and sports). Today is his birthday. I salute him with the following top 10.
Top 10 things we love about Art McGregor
10. The Blog. Let's just go ahead and get this one out of the way. Whether or not it was Trendy's idea, or started as a joke about a news service or gossip column, the bottom line is, McGregor made it happen. And let's not kid ourselves here folks, this blog fucking rules. More and more people follow our stoopidity on a daily basis, and want to talk about it with us. A simple concept that has turned on the creative spigot and rocks tits. 20,000 hits? 20 fucking thousand hits? Thanks Art.
9. Boyish excitement. Even after witnessing all of our idiocy over the last year and helping us make some incredible (and incredibly stupid) things happen, Art is still overcome by it all sometimes. Makes him seem sort of genuine in a way. Like yesterday, for example, he sent me one of about 47 text messages (I'll get to that in a minute) in which he marveled at the number of now-regular readers of our blog. It read "All about four or five guys who drink a lot!!!" Well, yeah. But four or five guys who drink to rechid excess every fucking night, do crazy things, are hilarious, love sports, converse about subjects like "never telling the truth" and "slapping people in the face" and "how much liberals suck" and shit like that. I can't see how we wouldn't be interesting to just about anyone. I'm pretty sure there are Eastern Orthodox Monks who read this ribald shit and laugh hysterically, wishing they were we.
8. Career Choice. Not exaclty Jaggeresque (who is?) but not a bad call. Let's see, how can I watch a lot of sports and get paid for it? Eureka! The job also allows him to participate in some of the activities he loves and excells at. For example: Sleeping in. Staying out late. Watching sports. Hitting on girls. Wearing the same 8 shirts all the time. Drinking. Did I mention sleeping in?
7. OK, fine . . .the hair. I know I gave him shit for the first six or seven months I knew him and gently implored him to think about a new style, by politely coaxing him with suggestions like "Hey fag, get a FUCKING haircut." But he didn't give in. And you know, it just wouldn't be he without the Pete Brady. Kudos. As he put it in an e-mail back in like April "Hey, it all works." That it does.
6. Kid rolls game. Like nobody's business these days. I mean, after spending his summer marvelling at McGinley and Truth, Holmes has put the rest of us to shame lately. He sticks to his guns, talks some smack, never lets up, and knocks down some serious ass. You gotta give him credit. Game is all about confidence and playing to your strengths. It is also about pointing out everyone else's weaknesses, filling the filly with spirits, and then waiting for the right moment to pounce. Doing it every night in front of a chick that knows she should be dating you is pretty fucking sweet too.
5. Gets genuine kick out of us. I think the initial shock has worn off, but the dude has found the right kids to roll with. I'm not sure he knew what he was getting himself into when he peeked his head in the door here, but he's fit right in. Seriously, what's not to love? All of our extended family have embraced him as one of our own. (in fact, one associate member has outwardly expressed a preference for Art over his own sibling) That's not easy to do. You'd better be ready to yell at televisions while the Buckeyes are playing, be funny, and do jaegerbombs. None of this has been a problem for Art.
4. Takes little very seriously. We covered the things that matter. Nothing else does and he knows it. He doesn't just know it, he practices it every day. Kid doesn't worry about driving a car that has a side-view mirror duct-taped on. He ain't tryin' to roll flashy clothes. We're not pontificating about foreign affairs or macro economics, or any of that bullshit stuff. Friends. Beers. Buckeyes. Fuck everything else.
3. Posts increasingly funny. Who here remembers the early stages of the blog when Trendy told a stunned McGregor that "McGinley's posts are funnier"? I do. McGregor has really ramped it up lately. That football thing yesterday was the best the blog has seen in a while. And, hey, he did get our asses on Deadspin, which didn't suck. He still steals my shit a lot (the Truman picture was my idea from 2 months ago, but whatever) yet he has really come into his own. I mean, you' d think he was like a professional scribe or something like that.
2. Text message machine. OK, listen. When Sunday McPunter says you send too many text messages, you send too many fucking text messages. Those two must have carpal tunnel. I get texts from Arty about every 20 minutes. They're usually about things like: A game that I'm watching. Something that happened at a bar that we're both at. A conversation we just had. A reminder to check the blog, which he knows I do about every 15 minutes. No one in the universe sends more. He's like a drunk McGinley, only always. But I'm glad to get them. And they're usually funny.
1. Loves the Buckeyes. I think it's the thing that endears him to us most. We share a common bond all we GVMers. Think of all the different walks of life from whence and which we have come. Really the thing that makes us who we are is a certain school whose colors are scarlet and gray. We love them. And we love you Art. Happy Birthday. See you later for dinner.
- McGinley
One day in that about-a-year-ago timeframe, I believe while watching an OSU basketball game, I began to notice an impish figure increasingly entering the picture. I didn't really know him, but he seemed to know a lot of people I knew, and could wax eloquent on the finer things Buckeye. Eventually, these kinds of conversations would lead to McGinley-style drunken challenges like "Name the 1983 Baltimore Orioles starting nine. Go!" (Murray, Sakata, Ripken, Decinces, Bumbry, Lowenstein, Singleton, Dempsey - incidentally off the top of my head) and of all the blokes who would have said gauntlet thrown before them, this little leprechaun was by far the best at answering the obscure.
I took a shine to this one. We started hanging out. A few weeks later I inquired about his name. Skipping way ahead, he'd come up with a crazy idea to begin documenting our shenanigans, and a movement was born, which would change the way we looked at the four most important things in life (wine, women, song, and sports). Today is his birthday. I salute him with the following top 10.
Top 10 things we love about Art McGregor
10. The Blog. Let's just go ahead and get this one out of the way. Whether or not it was Trendy's idea, or started as a joke about a news service or gossip column, the bottom line is, McGregor made it happen. And let's not kid ourselves here folks, this blog fucking rules. More and more people follow our stoopidity on a daily basis, and want to talk about it with us. A simple concept that has turned on the creative spigot and rocks tits. 20,000 hits? 20 fucking thousand hits? Thanks Art.
9. Boyish excitement. Even after witnessing all of our idiocy over the last year and helping us make some incredible (and incredibly stupid) things happen, Art is still overcome by it all sometimes. Makes him seem sort of genuine in a way. Like yesterday, for example, he sent me one of about 47 text messages (I'll get to that in a minute) in which he marveled at the number of now-regular readers of our blog. It read "All about four or five guys who drink a lot!!!" Well, yeah. But four or five guys who drink to rechid excess every fucking night, do crazy things, are hilarious, love sports, converse about subjects like "never telling the truth" and "slapping people in the face" and "how much liberals suck" and shit like that. I can't see how we wouldn't be interesting to just about anyone. I'm pretty sure there are Eastern Orthodox Monks who read this ribald shit and laugh hysterically, wishing they were we.
8. Career Choice. Not exaclty Jaggeresque (who is?) but not a bad call. Let's see, how can I watch a lot of sports and get paid for it? Eureka! The job also allows him to participate in some of the activities he loves and excells at. For example: Sleeping in. Staying out late. Watching sports. Hitting on girls. Wearing the same 8 shirts all the time. Drinking. Did I mention sleeping in?
7. OK, fine . . .the hair. I know I gave him shit for the first six or seven months I knew him and gently implored him to think about a new style, by politely coaxing him with suggestions like "Hey fag, get a FUCKING haircut." But he didn't give in. And you know, it just wouldn't be he without the Pete Brady. Kudos. As he put it in an e-mail back in like April "Hey, it all works." That it does.
6. Kid rolls game. Like nobody's business these days. I mean, after spending his summer marvelling at McGinley and Truth, Holmes has put the rest of us to shame lately. He sticks to his guns, talks some smack, never lets up, and knocks down some serious ass. You gotta give him credit. Game is all about confidence and playing to your strengths. It is also about pointing out everyone else's weaknesses, filling the filly with spirits, and then waiting for the right moment to pounce. Doing it every night in front of a chick that knows she should be dating you is pretty fucking sweet too.
5. Gets genuine kick out of us. I think the initial shock has worn off, but the dude has found the right kids to roll with. I'm not sure he knew what he was getting himself into when he peeked his head in the door here, but he's fit right in. Seriously, what's not to love? All of our extended family have embraced him as one of our own. (in fact, one associate member has outwardly expressed a preference for Art over his own sibling) That's not easy to do. You'd better be ready to yell at televisions while the Buckeyes are playing, be funny, and do jaegerbombs. None of this has been a problem for Art.
4. Takes little very seriously. We covered the things that matter. Nothing else does and he knows it. He doesn't just know it, he practices it every day. Kid doesn't worry about driving a car that has a side-view mirror duct-taped on. He ain't tryin' to roll flashy clothes. We're not pontificating about foreign affairs or macro economics, or any of that bullshit stuff. Friends. Beers. Buckeyes. Fuck everything else.
3. Posts increasingly funny. Who here remembers the early stages of the blog when Trendy told a stunned McGregor that "McGinley's posts are funnier"? I do. McGregor has really ramped it up lately. That football thing yesterday was the best the blog has seen in a while. And, hey, he did get our asses on Deadspin, which didn't suck. He still steals my shit a lot (the Truman picture was my idea from 2 months ago, but whatever) yet he has really come into his own. I mean, you' d think he was like a professional scribe or something like that.
2. Text message machine. OK, listen. When Sunday McPunter says you send too many text messages, you send too many fucking text messages. Those two must have carpal tunnel. I get texts from Arty about every 20 minutes. They're usually about things like: A game that I'm watching. Something that happened at a bar that we're both at. A conversation we just had. A reminder to check the blog, which he knows I do about every 15 minutes. No one in the universe sends more. He's like a drunk McGinley, only always. But I'm glad to get them. And they're usually funny.
1. Loves the Buckeyes. I think it's the thing that endears him to us most. We share a common bond all we GVMers. Think of all the different walks of life from whence and which we have come. Really the thing that makes us who we are is a certain school whose colors are scarlet and gray. We love them. And we love you Art. Happy Birthday. See you later for dinner.
- McGinley
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
UPDATES WITH QUOTE FROM THE MAYOR
UPDATES AGAIN WITH MORE INFORMATION
EDITS: CHANGE IN BYLINE
FURTHER UPDATES WITH TIME OF FIRST BUDWEISER
TD Hoodie has informed German Village Media that The Mayor has just entered The Slo-Pitch and Shockey and Little Orphan Andy personally have welcomed him back.
"Feels good to be home for the Holidays," The Mayor said.
The Mayor said he opened the door at 8:45 p.m., and then kissed Strawberry and Peaches before shaking hands with management.
"Had my first Budweiser at 8:47 p.m.," the world's slimmest heavy drinker said.
- Art McGregor
UPDATES AGAIN WITH MORE INFORMATION
EDITS: CHANGE IN BYLINE
FURTHER UPDATES WITH TIME OF FIRST BUDWEISER
TD Hoodie has informed German Village Media that The Mayor has just entered The Slo-Pitch and Shockey and Little Orphan Andy personally have welcomed him back.
"Feels good to be home for the Holidays," The Mayor said.
The Mayor said he opened the door at 8:45 p.m., and then kissed Strawberry and Peaches before shaking hands with management.
"Had my first Budweiser at 8:47 p.m.," the world's slimmest heavy drinker said.
- Art McGregor
THE MAYOR DEFEATS SHOCKEY
A look back on The Mayor's struggle to get back into The Slo-Pitch 1961 Tavern and McGinley's return oh so long ago:
Sources have told German Village Media that The Mayor will return to The 1961 at 11:30 p.m.
- Art McGregor
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